23 September 2015

Protecting the Wild Woman

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All ends of the spectrum.

Polarities. Duality.

This and that.


Something I immersed myself in this last week was the audio recording of T. Harv Eker's Secrets Of The Millionaire Mind.

I listened to it three times, back to back, mostly while in my car, and hilariously, pointing to my head declaring 'I have a millionaire mind!' under his direction.

One thing in particular struck me in his teachings about money management.

We often get told to save 10%
and to donate 10% ---
but to BLOW 10%?

This is a new concept to me.
The idea of consciously saving, consciously giving, consciously investing and consciously spending resonated with me deeply, and supports the natural flow of the law of nature - in and out, to and fro, coming and going.


Another 'both' teaching happened upon me this past fortnight, but it's been much deeper than the previous example.

My kundalini teacher has been taking our yoga community through a journey that's been exploring the theme of Innocence, Naivety and the Original Self.

Supported by the archetypal stories of the Wild Woman in Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes' classic, Women Who Run With The Wolves, it's fair to say that I've found myself curled up in a warm bath flicking through the pages of that book with not only tears flowing down my cheeks, but also, a few sobs - more than once.

Sobbing for what?

The remembrance of our innate nature as women.
The sobbing that erupts when we realise we've forgotten, and simultaneously remembered, a home, sacred truth.


What's the quickest and most accurate way to discern whether we've been neglecting our Wild Woman?

Simply, a sense of dryness in our life. Dullness.

We dry out on the quest to achieve and strive and keep up.
We dry out when we remain quiet; gagging what would rather come up and out.
We dry out when we numb the inner voice calling for rest, rejuvenation, and most importantly, solitude. (Something most of us have forgotten to cherish)

As an entrepreneur and hopeless romantic, this is a major teaching for me to embody.
Because, in truth, I am dried out by the very things that bring me so alive: my marriage and my business.

I love getting lots of things done, until I've done one too many things.
I love feeling productive and on purpose, until I have trouble getting out of bed.
I love making compromises, until I feel I'm not being seen, heard, or mindfully listened to.

Interesting, all of this may in fact be a result of me not prioritising 'homing.'


Estes writes...

'There are many ways to go home. Some are mundane, some are divine.... Rereading passages of books and single poems that have touched you. Spending even a few minutes near a river, a stream, a creek. Lying on the ground in dappled light. Being with a loved one without the kids around. Sitting on the porch shelling something, kinitting something, peeling something. Walking or driving for an hour, any direction, then returning. Boarding any bus, destination unknown. Making drums while listening to music. Greeting sunrise. Driving out to where the city lights do not interfere with the night sky. Praying. A special friend. Sitting on a bridge with legs dangling over. Holding an infant. Sitting by a window in a cafe and writing. Sitting in a circle of trees. Drying hair in the sun. Putting hands in a rain barrel. Potting plants, being sure to get hands very muddy...'


I say with utter conviction that we needn't choose between spirituality and success, but just as we practice spending a dollar for every one we save so we may experience more fluidity in our lives, so too should we prioritise equal amounts of solitude as any form of striving.

This is what keep our subtle energies balanced, and our Soul near.

May be blessed to translate our 'dryness' as an invitation to venture within.

And more importantly, may we be blessed with increased sensitivity so we may prioritise 'homing' as a non-negotiable of our days, and avoid dryness altogether.


PS: A big thank you is being extended to my teacher in this moment, Adi Shakti Kaur, for being brave enough to explore these teachings so deeply, and for bringing us all along for the ride.

I'd love to hear from you in the comments below.

How does dryness manifest in your life? AND, how will you return home.

Homing for me has meant lying the hammock on the deck, going to bed early with a book, taking regular baths, and allowing myself to feel all of my emotions.

I'm looking forward to hearing from you, and of course, if you think there's people in your life who would value from this post, you're welcome to share it using the buttons below.

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    • 23 September 2015

      It would be fair to say that I've been dried out by compromise. Homing - well recently I felt the realisation (different to knowing) that no-one was going to sit me down and tell me to take a stand a take a rest. So I booked a 6-day ayurvedic retreat in Byron for October. And strangely, for the first time I've booked travel since having kids, I'm not feeling as if I'm running away from my little family, but running towards something. Blessings, and thanks for sharing Tara.

    • 23 September 2015

      Yes, yes, yes! Thanks so much for sharing. I found that book earlier this year (after seeing it so often) and have been working my way through it for months. Each chapter hits me hard (with tears too at times) and I have to take a while to process it.

    • 24 September 2015

      Thank you for writing this just for me haha :)

      It has taken me a good few months to accept that what I am called to do right now is retreat - rather than outwardly express. That understanding took me from feeling stuck and uninspired to feeling soft, homely, slowed down, and quiet.

      And - yes - more of a woman actually.

      Thank you Tara (again) xx

    • 24 September 2015

      I really need to find a copy of that book. It's been popping up in conversation for the last year which feels like the world telling me to read it.

      This was the perfect post for me to read today Tara. 'Dry' is the perfect description. I've been doing a lot of pushing to get my yoga with kids ecourse finished in time and because I work around kids it ends up being pockets of time 7 days a week. My shoulders have tightened, I can feel the tension in my neck and head.

      Yesterday I called enough. I did nothing other than just being a mum. Just being present.

      And yes I know I'll get back up soon and keep striving because that's just my personality, but I think I need to make clearer divisions between 'work time' and 'off time'.

      Thank you for this. Xx

    • Claire
      25 September 2015

      Thank you for sharing this, Tara. I too have found myself being cleansed with soul quenching tears when reading CPE's words.

      Dryness has manifested in many ways for me: perfectionism, not speaking up for myself and a long relationship with someone who was as emotionally dry as I was. Also, I am totally laid-back by nature, and after consistently putting other's needs ahead of my own for so often, I realized that I was alive but totally hiding in these shadows. I was totally unsure of who I was. It has taken an honest effort over the last 16 months to find out what going home looks like for me.

      Currently I have found it to be in simplifying my life, in admiring the natural beauty that surrounds me and in connecting to the moon cycle with wholehearted intentions. It is in releasing stories of my past that have held me hostage and to surrendering to the here and now. It is embracing the unknown and trusting that I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now. I have found it in being completely open-hearted and by honoring my Self by speaking from that space of openness, and like you, also really allowing myself to truly feel all of my emotions. It has been mostly an inward journey but I am beginning to feel a shift to what I can only describe as a kind of blossoming; the journey inward has most definitely set me free.

      So much gratitude and love to you for providing and sharing with the world this open space of light, ideas and conversation, Tara.

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