10 March 2015

The Only One Stopping You Is YOU (Video)

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the only person stopping you is you

It absolutely crushes me when I'm talking to women who seem as though they've given up on themselves before they've even started.

"That'll never happen for me."

"Sound nice, but it's too hard."

"Yeah, but... my ego is particularly evil..."

I (lovingly) call bullshit.

I see those thrifty little excuses of yours, and I'll raise you an invitation to no longer view these statements and conditioned beliefs as acceptable.

And I can see them because I've been the Queen of the 'Oh, but this is just how I am' excuses, too.

"It's hard for me to be a good friend to women because me and my mother had a tough relationship."

"You don't understand what it's like for me... [insert ridiculous, victim-soaked statement here]."

"I can't do 'attention to detail.' I'm a 'fly by the seat of my pants' kinda girl."

Blah. Blah. Blah.

It's all nonsense.

It's one fence and gate and giant big dam wall after another, erected  by no one but myself, and they prevent me from experiencing intimacy, contentment and personal success.

My hunch is that you've thrown up some similar walls, and I'm hoping that this seven minute video will remind you that the only one stopping you is YOU.

Press play.

Everything is as it's meant to be - yes - but that doesn't mean that your circumstance has to remain unchanged. Nothing stays the same (it's impossible for it to), so use the Law Of Impermanence as your ally and remember that change is normal. Stagnation is the problem.

Quit making aspects of yourself wrong or bad or unsavoury. Living with awareness means embracing  ALL that is possible for you to be. It's about being able to see the darkness or the shadow, without having to blame it, or using it as an excuse. It's about recognising  those aspects and then consciously choosing the light instead. This is why you were given the gift of  will power. You decide on where you direct your will. You decide on what you're projecting out into the world. And make no mistake, the extent to which you believe in and suffer from the thoughts that bring you down , is entirely up to you.

The easiest way to dissolve all this self-limitation? Take action that marries with new and hopeful thoughtforms. Our misery – I believe – is directly proportional to the amount of time we spend in our heads. You need to call on your presence to pull yourself back down into your bones and move forward.

  • Can't run 1okm? Lace up and go for a walk.
  • Can't do a three minute headstand? Head to the studio anyway, roll out your mat, and explore the landscape of your body with non-judgement.
  • Think your relationship is on its final legs? Find the courage (and the spine) to forgive, to apologise, and to reach out more often for a loving touch, and then tell me whether you still want to end it. (My guess is that you haven't been trying hard enough)
  • Sick of the nasty thoughts in your head? Think new ones.
  • Afraid of being visible online? Press publish regardless.

The only way through, is through.

Every so often we need a very loving smackdown to pull us out of our story so we can get on with our lives. I sincerely hope that his post has assisted you in getting on with yours.

In the comments, I'd love to hear about a gate or two that your mind raises to keep you entirely limited. Calling it out means bringing it into the light, where it can be seen, and moved through. From there, what action can you take to move through this limitation?

Nobody can empower you, but you.

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    • 10 March 2015

      Tara, I adore all your videos but this one was so spot on for me right now. I hear this a lot from my students and have never found the right way to describe making that choice between dwelling in it and moving through it. You put it so beautifully. Thank you as always my darling. xx

      • 10 March 2015

        Oh hello you!
        You are so very welcome. Any time at all :)

    • 10 March 2015

      Thank you for this beautiful video. It is so timely. I have been having this very discussion with one of my clients and you summed it up so nicely. I have to say, it is so nice to see a video from you. I have missed them in my inbox. Keep shining your amazing light. Much love - Angie

      • 10 March 2015

        I sat in front of the camera last night and said 'How do I do this again?'


        Happy to serve you in this way Angie.

    • Kimballey
      10 March 2015

      I strongly believe that universal messages find us when we need them most.

      I stumbled across your ‘The Only Thing Stopping You - Is You’ video and I just want to say it was just what I needed to hear at this moment in my life

      -Thank You!!

      It is true misery enjoys comfort and it is often easier to indulge in our own suffering rather than fight for what we deserve and are capable of.

      I generally do not follow bloggers or alike. However, I must admit, I have become quite a big fan of you and your work.

      Much Love + Light


      • 10 March 2015

        Thanks you so much Kim. :) xo

    • 10 March 2015

      Good grey grief my love- your timing is impeccable (as always!) Being in Japan has really brought up a lot for me and I've realised that I can't make excuses for not 'going for it' any longer. It's definitely more painful not to move forward than stay where I am.

      Some limiting beliefs of mine that have really smacked me in the head recently include feeling unworthy of abundance and hiding behind an 'introvert' label (I'm not always as I introverted as I make myself believe I am).

      Thank you for helping us with this my love- you always talk about things in such a simple, but powerful way.

      Love, xxx

      • 10 March 2015

        Hey beautiful girl.

        I want to take this opportunity to agree with you! Meeting you in person - you are so buoyant and expressive and lucid and hilarious! But darling, I understand. I've used that label as protection myself, only to find that actually, I come alive around folks.

        So much love to you xo

    • laura
      10 March 2015

      Hi Tara,

      I felt like you were talking just to me. I felt like you were my best friend talking to me through skype telling me exactly what I needed to hear.
      I start the day with that positive energy that moves mountains.
      Thank you for all your videos and the words that always hit the spot.

      Thank you for being my very good virtual friend,


    • Kate // Betty Means Business
      10 March 2015

      Oh lady, what a spring of wisdom this is! So SO GOOD. xo

    • Phoebe Hook
      10 March 2015

      "Stop being your own limitations", like an arrow through the heart, thank you Tara.

      I also have to say (and maybe it's because I've just finished watching the module 1 videos of B-School) that while watching you I had a flash back to the video you created in your trailer in 2012 talking about everything you wanted to achieve.

      A great reminder of how far we can go in such a short space of time.


    • Kirsty
      10 March 2015

      Hey gorgeous you nailed it again !!! It is all about us xxx thanks for the reminder. Such a freedom in loving our whole selves xx

    • Michaela
      10 March 2015

      Ah, bless your cotton socks for always speaking from the heart and being so true Tara. This was a beautiful video, thank you :)

    • 10 March 2015

      'Content people aren't the people who have everything.'

      Hell yeah!

      Vari x

    • Anne Lotte
      11 March 2015

      Thank you Tara! So true, so empowering!

    • Kyla Ellwood
      11 March 2015

      One of my absolute fav sayings that always helps shift my perspective back into focus is "I am the creator of my future and the driver of my mind!"


    • Amy Pidgeon
      11 March 2015

      You have such a beautiful, kind and loving way of delivering messages that can be a 'wake up'/ slap in the face!!! I love your videos and this was no exception. Thank you for all you do xxx

    • 11 March 2015

      Wow!! I think I'm going to have to watch it again as I was furiously scribbling notes. I have been in a funk, for what feels like years!! Getting to the f*ck it stage with my little voice and the sob stories of 'I'm not important enough' or 'I'll be ignored' or 'I'm not as well connected as her'. No one can empower you, but you - perfect and so so true. Lovely to see you on video again xx

    • Damian
      11 March 2015

      Thanks Tara, great wisdom in that 7 minutes, I have struggled with my own limitations but am now setting myself free, thank u for making this video and allowing us to see that really it is oh so simple, we just have to believe!! Peace

    • Molly
      11 March 2015

      Serendipitous timing as per usual, dear Tara. These words hit so strongly. I've been dealing with severe depression for the last couple of months and it has knocked me for six. I know that I've got an illness, I know there a things that will help me feel better and change my reality. But I got stuck. I kept (am still keeping) a monologue playing in my head telling me that I'm broken and that this is the way things are for me, and nothing will change that. Of course, this is a vicious cycle that keeps me down in the depths of depression and continuous thoughts of ending my life. Depression is an illness, I can accept that. But I don't have to live with it. Yes, I've got it, but I can move through it with time. I don't have to take a ginormous leap and get better within the next hour. But I can choose to take one step. And that's a choice this video has inspired me to do. Just take one step. Even if it's to take a deep breath, or just open my blinds. One step in the right direction is better than staying stagnant in despair. Thankyou, as always beautiful girl. I'm sure this last week has been full of ups and downs for you and your friends. Sending love and light, as I'm sure Jess is every moment. Thankyou for sharing your truths. Don't ever change, you're amazing.

      • Darien
        11 March 2015

        I was going to write Tara about depression too. I feel SO much better knowing there is someone else out there dealing with it too. I love that ....'just take one step'. That has really hit home for me. Thank you for being brave and reaching out here. You've helped me! Take care of yourself.

    • Silje
      11 March 2015

      Thank you for this mail and video, it was just what I needed!
      I am in a changing phase in my life right now, and what's stopping me is fear..
      Fear of failing, fear of not having enough money to pay my bills, fear that I'm not good enough, and I really want to step away from that fear. Find a career that gives my life meaning, inspire people, be inspired, live simpler, travel, eat healthy, do my yoga, laugh a lot, love and live my life. I can and I WILL do it!!

      And for some reason, I fear sending you this response... but I'll do it anyway :)
      Thank you for inspiring me, can't wait to read your book!
      Have a beautiful day! Greetings from Norway :)

    • 11 March 2015

      Thank you so much for this video. It really resonated with me.

      Ness xoxo

    • 14 March 2015

      Free will & the concept of inspired action are two topics I have been trying to get up close and personal with throughout the past fortnight, and your post & video ties in perfectly. Thank you Tara for your words & guidance. Much gratitude. :)


    • Petra
      16 March 2015

      Tara, thank you. This is incredibly moving, measured, deep, divine. There are some huge thoughts in here. They've really lodged deeply in my soul and body. I look forward to practicing this... especially as I go through B School with you & the team at R&T B School.

    • Lisa
      18 March 2015

      I had this link in my inbox. being too busy and letting life get in the way this week, I hadn't looked at it until now....
      I am relatively new to this and I am finding my feet.
      The universe works in crazy ways and this has hit so close to home. Here & now is now is when I needed this most.

      Thank you once again Tara. 'Stop being your own limitations' will be my mantra over the next few days in trying to realign with my inner self.
      Tuning in from WA, keep it up - L xx

    • lorna may
      18 March 2015

      Tara - you're ballsy and brave.
      Thanks for speaking your truth and shaking us up!!!!

    • 22 March 2015

      Tara, this was a beautiful message. I could feel it resonate within me as I nodded along through the video. Thank you!

    • Lucy
      28 March 2015

      Boom! Nailed it Tara. Exactly what I needed today! Thankyou, you inspiring beauty you!

    • 31 March 2015

      Tara, thank you for this reminder that we have to keep telling ourselves we're enough and that narrative in our heads isn't who we really are. Love your work, it's always so inspiring, true and just what I need to hear x

    • Shayne
      27 April 2015

      BOOM TOWN with this Tara. Wanted to thank you for calling us on it.
      Looking forward to getting all giggly on my inner voice.
      Love x

    • Shannon
      18 November 2015

      Hi Tara, I'm in the middle of a huge self transformation and thankfully I've found you! I've done a lot of work over a lot of years and had a lot of teachers but I connect with your teachings. Living far from your website is a blessing but I'd love to come and do some work with you personally. For now, I need to let go of the belief that I don't have the courage to become who I'm meant to be. Blessings and love to you xx

    • Shannon
      18 November 2015

      Make that the courage to show who I am!

    • Bec
      26 January 2016

      Thank you! I have been reading a lot recently and trying to find my way through all this noise in my head. And this was what made it all kick in. Oh yes, I've got this!
      Thank you for my AH-HA moment. Ever so grateful xoxox

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