It absolutely crushes me when I'm talking to women who seem as though they've given up on themselves before they've even started.
"That'll never happen for me."
"Sound nice, but it's too hard."
"Yeah, but... my ego is particularly evil..."
I (lovingly) call bullshit.
I see those thrifty little excuses of yours, and I'll raise you an invitation to no longer view these statements and conditioned beliefs as acceptable.
And I can see them because I've been the Queen of the 'Oh, but this is just how I am' excuses, too.
"It's hard for me to be a good friend to women because me and my mother had a tough relationship."
"You don't understand what it's like for me... [insert ridiculous, victim-soaked statement here]."
"I can't do 'attention to detail.' I'm a 'fly by the seat of my pants' kinda girl."
Blah. Blah. Blah.
It's all nonsense.
It's one fence and gate and giant big dam wall after another, erected by no one but myself, and they prevent me from experiencing intimacy, contentment and personal success.
My hunch is that you've thrown up some similar walls, and I'm hoping that this seven minute video will remind you that the only one stopping you is YOU.
Everything is as it's meant to be - yes - but that doesn't mean that your circumstance has to remain unchanged. Nothing stays the same (it's impossible for it to), so use the Law Of Impermanence as your ally and remember that change is normal. Stagnation is the problem.
Quit making aspects of yourself wrong or bad or unsavoury. Living with awareness means embracing ALL that is possible for you to be. It's about being able to see the darkness or the shadow, without having to blame it, or using it as an excuse. It's about recognising those aspects and then consciously choosing the light instead. This is why you were given the gift of will power. You decide on where you direct your will. You decide on what you're projecting out into the world. And make no mistake, the extent to which you believe in and suffer from the thoughts that bring you down , is entirely up to you.
The easiest way to dissolve all this self-limitation? Take action that marries with new and hopeful thoughtforms. Our misery – I believe – is directly proportional to the amount of time we spend in our heads. You need to call on your presence to pull yourself back down into your bones and move forward.
- Can't run 1okm? Lace up and go for a walk.
- Can't do a three minute headstand? Head to the studio anyway, roll out your mat, and explore the landscape of your body with non-judgement.
- Think your relationship is on its final legs? Find the courage (and the spine) to forgive, to apologise, and to reach out more often for a loving touch, and then tell me whether you still want to end it. (My guess is that you haven't been trying hard enough)
- Sick of the nasty thoughts in your head? Think new ones.
- Afraid of being visible online? Press publish regardless.
The only way through, is through.
Every so often we need a very loving smackdown to pull us out of our story so we can get on with our lives. I sincerely hope that his post has assisted you in getting on with yours.
In the comments, I'd love to hear about a gate or two that your mind raises to keep you entirely limited. Calling it out means bringing it into the light, where it can be seen, and moved through. From there, what action can you take to move through this limitation?
Nobody can empower you, but you.