24 March 2014

The Busy Trap is Seductive, But Dangerous. Pull Back.

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You know that busyness doesn’t necessarily equal success, right?

Then why are you still beating yourself up about how much you’re not achieving, not accomplishing, not placing a big, fat TICK! next to?

I’ve got an inkling as to why.

Firstly, and from the outside looking in, I’d say you’re probably dealing with some comparison issues, which, when you’ve been casting your attention Out There for too long, isn’t a difficult place to land in. The more we shift out focus from our inner world to our outer, the more we compare ourselves to others. Period. (Tweet it!)

But deeper than that, I reckon you’re *still* white-knuckle gripping an out-dated, conditioned, industrial age, bullshit belief that you are only as worthy as your body and brain are busy. In other words, whether consciously or not, you're treating The Busy Trap as gospel.

If you haven’t already guessed, I’m on a bit of a mission to bust a cap in the ass of this mindset.

Because I’m tired. I’m tired of the people I mentor, care about, work with, and deeply love, falling prey to an external pressure that intensifies to such extremes that it begins to feel insular; like it’s electrocuting our cerebrospinal fluid, or something. (Too dramatic?)

And I’m also tired of us all leaning into our accomplishments for validation. Celebrate your success? Bloody oath! Allow yourself to be defined by them? Just… no. I will not stand for it. Not because your achievements are better than you, but because YOU (the real you) transcends any and all conceivable achievements.

And - surprise, surprise - I’m also tired of being so damn hard on myself, too. (You saw that coming, didn’t you?)

This is one of those topics that just simply needs a video; a little body language, a little extra expression, a little cheeky cheek. So without further ado...

CLICK PLAY and bid au revoir to The Busy Trap.

LINE

Even roller coasters include lame bends and corners which allow you to catch your breath and gather back a little of your sanity.

Life will scoop you up and make a run for it sometimes, but when it offers you a reprieve, an odd trough to break up the peaks, or even just a fricken plateau, take it! Take it with wide, open arms, and be thankful for the purposeful pause.

Your time to pounce back into the game is coming; momentum is building. For now, enjoy the presence of who you are in this world, find your bearings, cook yourself a nice meal, and heed the call when it feels right.

The whole point of this post: you have permission to slow down.

LINE

Who's going to join me in devoting to the faith of divine timing, of quality rather than quantity? Let me know in the comments.

As always, all shares appreciated.

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36 comments

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    • 25 March 2014

      Thank you, Tara, for this reminder.

      I really needed to hear this today…

      xo

      • Tara
        25 March 2014

        Love you. Thinking of you. x

    • Karla
      25 March 2014

      Babe! Your video was the perfect way to start my day before digging into Module Two of Bright-Eyed Blog-Hearted. After a few days of trying to do a million things at once I'm finally taking a step back and having no shame in accomplishing little bits day by day! x

      • Tara
        25 March 2014

        Happy to inspire, darlin x

    • Lana
      25 March 2014

      Of course, this found me with impeccable timing - thank you darling girl, you shine! Going through B-school at the moment has got me reeling with all the things on my to do list, and this sense of urgency to get everything done has been wearing me down! Time to take a step back and breathe. xox

      • Tara
        25 March 2014

        And.... exhale ! :P

    • 25 March 2014

      Sometimes I find myself using 'I'm busy' as such a lame excuse for not doing something I'm just not that keen on. Making a promise to myself right here, right now to stop using 'busy' as an excuse and instead saying a gentle 'no'.

      • Tara
        25 March 2014

        Your promise has been witnessed, and I am willing to testify :P

    • Emmy Clews
      25 March 2014

      While watching this, I thought 'is she talking to me?' and you leaned forward, pointed your finger and said 'I'm talking to you!'. This is the second time I've heard this message today and its 6.15am. Thank you, Tara. You're ever-wise x

      • Tara
        25 March 2014

        Hahaha! Please excuse my finger-pointing! It was a passionate moment! :P

        And you are ever-lovely xo

    • 25 March 2014

      Yes to being!

      I'm so with you today I have been feeling how the Universe knows exactly where I am, what I need and has my back. I realized I'm "Trusting" the flow. If I just relax and follow my inner knowing it all happens, I've experienced this before but today is like I've just discovered it, but while I'm here trusting I've seen a layer of this and its very much being in the "Now" being present to your life. Not trying to push the energy out as you said Tara.......allowing all the good to come to me and everyone else too.

      • Tara
        25 March 2014

        Aboslutely - and the thing is, we all know when it's time to hit the ground running - to make the first move - to go for it! It's just that it can't always be that way, and we can learn to not only accept that, but enjoy it :D

    • 25 March 2014

      Thank you Tara, exactly what we have been exploring on the blog recently so this is perfect timing. Divine timing some might say. Keep doing what you do. xx

      • Tara
        25 March 2014

        I shall! You keep going too, won't you?

    • Nic - A Spectacular Life
      25 March 2014

      Tara: This. Is. Brilliant.
      I loved it. I've recently started meditating at set times, and I have found that I am getting much more intuitive and recognising when 'not to push' as you say.
      This pull back in turn feeds and enhances my writing and creativity.
      So true, such a great vlog.
      Thank you

      • Tara
        25 March 2014

        Nic babe, my pleasure. You. Are. Lovely. :D

    • 25 March 2014

      Such a timely message Tara. There feels like a new wave of energy that has come on board lately and it comes with your message to pull back, breathe and just chill. Thankyou xo

      • Tara
        25 March 2014

        Welcome as ever Tania. Thank YOU xo

    • 25 March 2014

      Wow. This absolutely resonated with me Tara. Last week, my coach (our Kelly!) challenged me to indulge in my 'lazy' Kamina and it was such an incredible breath of fresh AWESOME. To just let myself go, not worry about the fact that I couldn't be bothered to wake up early to run, or write a blog post, or sit on my mindfullness stool. It helped me notice where life was pulling me, rather than focus on what I was pushing myself to achieve, and then beating myself up over it when I didn't follow through. Thank you for reminding me why that felt as awesome as it did. This week is all about working out the kinks of my my new "routine" - wish me luck! Lots of love, your Bali sister x

      • Tara
        25 March 2014

        Oh honey! I'm talking about 'routines' this Friday on the blog. Hehe. #synched. Love you so much and miss you! Hopefully I'll see you this weekend in Sydney?! xo

      • 26 March 2014

        Absolutely! Can't wait for a hug! xx

    • Ness
      25 March 2014

      This is really timely. But also hard. Tonight I have yoga. But im tired, and it's rainy and cool, so part of me doesn't want to go, but I'd also feel better if I went. How do I tell what is laziness (eg about yoga, or exercising or other things) and what is listening to my body?hmmm. Xx

      • Tara
        25 March 2014

        Beautiful Ness, I mean this with ALL SINCERITY: You ABSOLUTELY know the difference between pulling back from the push, and laziness.

        You know. You just... know.

        We can feel it in our bodies when we're being lazy. But slowing down? That feels like a reprieve - like gentleness - like the odd dose of self love.

        Sounds to me like you're experiencing resistance rather than laziness, and you know what? Resistance always points to what's most important. (I say, hit your mat. You'll be smiling about it soon)

        xo

    • 25 March 2014

      This is exactly what I needed. I've been feeling like I need to be doing more to get to my self imposed deadline but I know that I'm rushing it. I've actually just started to slow down too and start listening to what I need rather than what I should be doing and how busy I need to be. Thank you, Tara, for a beautiful blog post and video. You are beautiful!

      • Tara
        25 March 2014

        You're so welcome Mandi! Follow that pull.

    • Kelly
      25 March 2014

      F alse
      E vidence
      A ppearing
      R eal

      • Tara
        25 March 2014

        Amen sister xo

    • Katina
      26 March 2014

      thank you! i needed to hear this xx

    • Katie
      26 March 2014

      Perfect words at the perfect time for me. I am feeling this expansive shift to slow down, allow, be. This morning - for some odd reason - I changed up my schedule and started the day not with Twitter and email, but with exercise and meditation. I was done with plenty of time to get to work. AND I FEEL GREAT! My head is clear, I'm not pushing and everything is flowing.

      That tiny shift of "slow down" has changed my entire day. Imagine what it could do to my life?

      Thank you, as always, for your brilliant encouragement to be my true self.

    • Emma
      26 March 2014

      Love it! I have definitely felt this need to push, achieve and tick off the to-do list the last few weeks as things have slowed down work-wise. That uncertainty has left me in a mad panic. But I practiced this pulling-back business and I tell you, opportunities come out of the woodwork and the universe has supported me with exactly what I need, right now. It's always perfect. We just need to accept it sometimes! <3

    • Dannii
      26 March 2014

      Holy Shit Tara, you just know when to say the right thing that is resonating so completely in my life and i'm so grateful for you in this world. It is so important for us to be reminded that pulling back and not pushing is needed sometimes, and for me right now that means what I have done so far is enough -to get me through, and the inspiration will come..even though i'm completely paralysed-scared that it won't..but trusting that (as you say) there is a time to create and push forward.. and obviously now isn't quite that time - but that IT WILL COME. Trusting in that!! Thanks for the permission xx

    • chantelle
      26 March 2014

      this message if super powerful for me at the moment. Thankyou Tara! love you xx

    • Irena
      26 March 2014

      Hi Tara

      Reading all these comments and I truly can't believe how perfectly timed your messages are - it's clear from everyone else's remarks how well you understand oh we all feel. I am the winner of the Lorna Jane believe board competition and am oh so excited and grateful I'm being given the opportunity to chat with such an inspiration person! Your post on re-introducing meat into your diet has also been so insightful as I have recently been experimenting with vegan and vegetarianism.

      Thank you so much for your honest and heart warming posts, messages, videos etc.
      Irena

    • 27 March 2014

      You articulate this so well and it was just what I needed to hear. Thankyou so much!

    • 31 March 2014

      Love you Tara, and your fabulous no-nonsense advice! x

    • 5 May 2015

      If I'm being 100% honest I keep busy to distract me from the fear I have...Fear of not getting anywhere, the fear that maybe I wont make it and the fear of...well actually I dont know what I fear sometimes!

      Going slow and being present may from the outside seem like the easiest thing to do..but actually it takes a heck load of bravery!

      So thank you for giving that permission..now to find the brave in me :)

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