6 January 2015

Home: Have You Found It?

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spiritual home

Happy New Year, you wonderful specimen, and welcome back.

I’ve tagged this month as Reinvention Month in this space. Because, why not?

LINE ‘Don’t leave until you’ve made peace there.’

That’s what I suggest to my clients when they’re fed up with their job, their home, their city. Sometimes, their relationship, too.

Don’t leave until you’ve made peace.

In my late teens and early twenties, I would hopscotch to and from jobs in such a fashion that it makes me motion sick just thinking about it. It looked a little something like this:

  • Burning resentment for my workplace
  • Leave in a flurry (often causing a bit of a drama on my way out)
  • Job-hunt
  • Nail the interview
  • Show up to work enthusiastic and generally stoked to be there
  • Think to myself - for about three months - I love it here, this is the best job ever! Until, one day, seemingly out of nowhere...
  • … here it comes again - the resentment.

Pattern: repeated.

Sound familiar?

And that’s why they call them repeating lessons.

‘I just can’t seem to avoid the bad boys.’

‘I’m so discontent - nothing ever feels enough for me.’

‘Six months into a relationship, I get bored.’

‘I can’t stand where I live.’

All of these, I can guarantee, are lessons repeating themselves. Lessons that will continue to repeat themselves until you can access enough awareness to see the pattern.

It’s all about deservability. (In other words - recognising your worthiness)

And the want to want.

And the belief you are good and whole and that it is safe and right to want to feel safe and right and good and whole.

The same is true for where it is we choose to set our roots down.

Have we made a conscious choice on where to drop anchor? Or have we landed on nothing but a patch of dirt that has no relevance, no meaning, that adds no richness to the shape of our lives. Is our home… automatic?

All of this is my very scenic route way of saying: Have you found your Spiritual Home yet?


Let’s discuss in the comments.

:: Have you found your spiritual home yet? Where are you!?

:: Perhaps you haven’t, in which case, use the space below to plant a few seeds. What are you willing to want and desire for yourself in terms of your home life?


As always, you are welcome and encouraged to share this post with your friends.

PS: I’m still smiling from what went down over the weekend at my first Author Workshop. It was spectacular. To see a dozen women leave my apartment having started their books, with a clear vision on where to tread next - my goodness. Blessed am I.

SYDNEY! Your tickets are on sale. I’ll see you February 7. What are you waiting for? 

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    • Kristy
      6 January 2015

      I'm sure I have found mine - in Wollongong we have beaches, mountains, an amazing community of friends, it's got it all. In terms of my house, it tends to reflect my inner state as well - if I'm all over the place there will be piles of stuff everywhere, things laying around that I haven't dealt with yet, the garden gets weedy and overgrown. My intentions for this year is to really come into my self and feel at home in my life and part of what I want to do to achieve this is declutter and clean the house so it feels welcoming, calming, grounding, full of laughter and good vibes.

    • 6 January 2015

      Thank you for the inspiration and the knowledge that you really can want more and have more.Sometimes it's a tough one to accept!
      What am I willing to want and desire in my home life?
      a home that is my own where I feel grounded, and secure- no more rent!
      To wake up to the sound of the ocean and be close enough to go to the beach swimming whenever I desire.
      A home that is fresh with wide open spaces and soft, clean comforting furniture. A fresh green backyard with fairly lights and outdoor seeting for dinner parties. My home is close to the dance studio I rehease and train at and close to the network studio where I go to work acting, performing and bringing people entertainment and joy. My community around me is creative, loving, supportive and inspiring!
      Thanks Tara!

      Esther x

    • Buffy
      6 January 2015

      Love this! We are currently renting in an area that I feel SO at home in, its just beautiful. Every time I drive down a certain street, I smile to myself thinking how awesome our little patch is.

      Towards the end of the year, we hope to buy a house but due to a number of things, not necessarily in the area we currently reside. This post has given me the inspiration (and courage) to know that you can have what you desire and to not settle - its more than looking for a house, its a home where you can feel AT home!

      Thank you Tara, thanks for everything! xxx

    • 6 January 2015

      Perfect timing (as always)! My man and I are currently planning on moving ourselves back down the coast to Miami/Burleigh/Palm Beach and it couldn't feel more right.

      Although I adore coming home to our current house, I'm spending more and more time further south at the beach, with friends or taking classes at Essence of Living and I just *know* we belong back that way.

      Thanks for the perfect message Tara.

    • Steph
      6 January 2015

      Ugh so needed this right now. My partner and I have just begun house hunting and its so overwhelming to even know where to start.
      thank you for the divinely timed guidance!

    • Kylie
      7 January 2015

      Somewhere near the beach, probably near Milton or Berry or maybe Narooma. But of land for veggies and my fiance's aqua ponics. I was always a mountain girl but now being near the Ocean takes me to such a state of bliss that I have to move. I too was like Kirsty, piles of unfiled paper everywhere, backyard overgrown and unfinished jobs. I set aside 15 mins a day to work on it all and I am almost done. A bit if feng shui, redecorating and moving furniture and I can now finally feel the peace settling in. Next will be the move. Not sure when but I am looking forward to it. Thanks for the visualisation tip Tara, I will give it a go!

    • 7 January 2015

      Beautiful video and great topic, Tara. I feel that I have found my spiritual home in Playa del Carmen, Mexico. You are right, it is about how you feel when you are there, and while the physical space important, community is also a biggie for me. I found an eclectic yoga and recovery community there which became like family, and that has proven to be such a healing element. I can relate to that feeling when you return to Burleigh! Whenever I land at Cancun airport, my heart feels like it has come home and I could almost kiss the ground. I never felt homesick until I left Mexico for the first time. That is how I know it's home.

    • Amy
      7 January 2015

      Dear Tara,

      Wow - I thought you were spot on before and then I hear your email pop in this morning, after an emotionally tumultuous night, needing guidance. Then I read it and bang bang bang - everything is spot on. I am so angry and so full of resentment and considering leaving my job and sabotaging my relationship and you tell me to make peace. That it's about deservability. That I deserve to feel loved and whole. That the fear is not me. Is this enough?

      So thankyou, once again. I feel a lot of gratitude for what you do. Let us know if you bring you work to Melbourne!

      Have a fabulous day in Burleigh, many many blessings,

      Amy x

    • Bonnie
      7 January 2015

      Beautiful video, thank you Tara.
      In 2013 I was living in Perth, WA, and had finally made peace with the place (after getting this advice from you!). It's funny how the world works, about three months after I finally felt happy (moving to the bech also helped) I was made redundant from my job. I never considered moving back to hobart, until I went back for Christmas and a wedding in late 2013. When I was back in perth, trying to figure out what to do with myself, the idea of moving home almost smacked me in the face. Within a week, I'd packed most things up, shipped them back to Hobart, booked a plane ticket and applied for uni. Turns out uni was a mistake ( turns out a masters degree in business isn't the best idea when you're recovering from working in a super stressful corporate environment!), but it's so good to be home. I just resonate with tassie. It's kinda embarrassing, I wish it could be somewhere cool and not just a massive country town but I just love it here.
      Getting professional work has been and still is a huge struggle. It's a bit demoralising. But I'll apply for a different uni course (marine science is much more my thing) because I love it here. I'm home, I love it and even though it's crazy, stupid hard at times this is where I want to be.
      Big love x

    • 7 January 2015

      Thank you Tara, I loved this video! I've moved houses and cities a ridiculous amount of times in the past five years (three times just in the past 8 months!) and finally at the end of last year I've found my Soul's Home in Avalon (Sydney's Northern Beaches). I'd only visited here twice before we decided to move but I just KNEW it's where I'm meant to be and everything fell so perfectly into align. My visualisation was supersonic and found my partner and I in our DREAM home. After experiencing such deep love for my home and my town I so highly resonate with everything you speak of in your video.

      So much love to you x

    • 7 January 2015

      I've been calling the Gold Coast Home for years all the while, i've been residing in Ipswich for the last five of those years. I've felt pulled to live by the ocean and i've been manifesting the move for 3 years.

      I feel that same relief, my shoulders drop and my breathe steadies and slows when the oceans in sight. I love the energy of the Gold Coast and, i'll be seeing you soon ;)

      All my Angel cards recently have been about the move. #itshappening!

    • Leah
      7 January 2015

      Tara- we bought our new house within a week of selling our old one and it just felt so right! It's in Skye Victoria and its near the city, Dandenong mountains, the beach and the Mornington peninsula. This is home

    • 7 January 2015

      For several years now, my mom and I have wanted to move. We're sick of the cold here. The gray. The lack of comm unity we feel. We waited for me to finish school (graduated college in May Woohoo! Haha) and now we're beginning to make plans. But, I'm still not sure where we're going to go. If we're going to go, now at least. One day yes, but we both have so much more to do before we're ready. And if we move now, I wonder, like you said, will we be stuck in a constant cycle of being unhappy where we are and with what we already have? I love to travel and I am able to do so, using the house we have now as a home base. I went to Italy last summer. Am going to Nicaragua in Sept. I'm about to take the leap and publish some of my works. Reflection is key. So is honesty. Thank you for this lovely post. Going to share it with my mom :) brightest blessings to you, Tara!

    • 7 January 2015

      This has really hit me recently. Where is home? My husband and I have both been sick twice over the past three weeks, and when you are so sick ..you just want to be home right? But where is home? We have been living in London for the past 12 months. Before that we lived in a quiet beachfront property in Wellington New Zealand, and before that a beautiful old villa in rural New Zealand. We moved back to Wellington after living in the country for 6 months because we missed it so much. That home feeling, is what I feel as soon as I see the harbour, driving into the city. But having since moved to London I realise that we lived in a semi-constant fear of earthquakes since the deadly ones in Christchurch in 2010. And its nice not to experience that gripping fear every time a heavy truck rolls past, or the house creaks. And there is so much going on in the world, so much is happening up here that there isn't back home. I have learned so much, and grown personally. But it doesn't feel like home. And I miss the sea. And its bloody cold! Right now I guess I'm struggling with the feeling of home vs the experiences not home has to offer. Sure we should explore and travel...but when is it right to go back home?

    • Sarah
      8 January 2015

      I want a home that feels SPACIOUS and LIGHT, and that's the way I want life in 2015 to feel as well.

    • 9 January 2015

      Wow, This really just made me realise how truly happy i am where i live and in my house that i have worked at making a home over the last twelve months with my fiance. We love our town 2hours out of Melbourne, our families and friends are never far away. Right now i'm home with our two dogs keeping me company, no tv or music, ust a couple of candles burning and i feel completely at peace, grounded and purely happy. This is our space and i love it xx

    • 10 January 2015

      Whenever we travel back to Glasgow it feels less and less like HOME.

      I know I would not have the marriage, children, business, friends, and LIFE had we not moved to Melbourne in 2007... with no job, place to live or friends.

      My 5yo Gabriel said to me last week as we were on a bike ride through our local park, 'Did you know that your babies wouldn't want to live in Scotland so that's why you moved to Australia?'

      Oh how I love that delightful little angel! How aptly he was named!

      Australia cracked me open and gave me more of what I didn't even know existed.

      Thanks for putting into words how I feel about my home, Ms T. xxx

      V xx

    • Karen
      11 January 2015

      Oh thank you so much for this. I sometimes think I am going crazy in my house because I have never felt right there.i try to be grateful for it but the energy is so not right for me. I want a house deep in the mountains, lush and green and peaceful with changes of seasons and fireplaces and stained glass windows and roses roses roses. Sandstone wooden floors and soul. Only beautiful things residing there. A community around me of loving joyful creative souls who uplift me.

      • 13 January 2015

        Karen! Your description was oh-so vivid, I can just imagine your dream home. I hope you get there soon x

    • 14 January 2015

      Such a good post Tara. Loved your point at the top about making peace before you move on.

      I most certainly haven't found my spiritual home. I'm still living at home in Sydney. I really feel the need to move out of my parents house but at the moment I am not in a financial position to do so. So the first thing I need to manifest is my income.

      I have also felt that Sydney is not my home for some time now. I feel so much more connected to Qld. Particularly the Sunshine Coast. I love the laid back, outdoors, beachy, healthy lifestyle. Ultimately what I would love is that kind of lifestyle, in a beautiful location near the sea and a tribe of like minded friends near by. If it's not on the Sunny Coast I don't mind, just somewhere nice.

    • grace b
      21 January 2015


      I have been thinking about this very seriously as my boyfriend and I have considered moving out of our city (Austin, TX) for a few months. But ultimately, after spending a few days away in another city I've come to this realization: oftentimes I coast of the energy of a place (or a person!) and when that energy dries up I feel like there's nothing left for me! Hence, time to move on. Or if I moved, I'd be a different, better, smarter, thinner person -- my best self must live somewhere else! But really? I have gushed about how my inner self feels accepted and validated here, and that when I take care of myself, I don't need to rely on the energy of this place. I just exist, as a self containing unit. And my "best self" -- it lives in my heart.

      Thank you for this thought provoking video!

    • Sustainable and the City
      25 January 2015

      Deservability - such a powerful concept and so important. I've definitely found my spiritual home for where I am at the moment. My boyfriend and I looked for our house for over a year (granted, we were very, very picky - but we knew what we wanted!) and finally found it a few months ago. A little backyard, big enough for planting some herbs and veggies... close enough to the train station and fruit & veg markets, close to all our friends, and with space for us to both have a studio. I know that in the future as our needs change we will need a different spiritual home, but for now this feels pretty close to perfect. Thanks for such a beautiful video!

    • Theresa
      8 March 2015

      I have always known that 'home' in inside of me and consequently wherever I am. I carry 'home' with me.

      I have lived in many places, from towns that had about 10 families to very large cities, from the west coast to the east and now in the middle.

      Each place has added spirit to my inner home, I have added so much 'happy' and 'learning' from each place.

      I have been fortunate in having been given the gift of daring and acceptance and being able to live in a manner that has left me with no regrets for what I have not done.

      Home is where I am and where I learn to love over and over again each new time.

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