4 November 2015

Something to Contemplate: Self-Consciousness VS Consciously Being the Self

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I have found – recently, specifically – that connection, true, gracious, authentic connection, does not require confidence.

It requires consciousness.

I think many of us have it backwards. I've witness women withhold themselves from encounters because they don't feel ready, or good enough, or open enough, or feminine enough, or as though they have enough in common. Enough enough enough.

Of course, the reason I can see this so keenly is because it was my very personal and very real-feeling 27 year anthem. These days, though, I try to sing a different tune.

Give yourself a chance at revelling in the beauty of your own fricken consciousness. Come on! Let's do this.

I believe there's another significant thing at play in the state of the self-conscious. As well as the focus being fixated on how the self is being perceived, the self also believes – in a moment of self-consciousness – that it's separate from God(dess). There has been a separation from Truth with a capital T.

In Kundalini Yoga, we greet one another with 'Sat Nam.' It means, 'truth is my identity.'

Truth is who I am.


Not the littleness that my mind touts in my name.

Not that comparison, or that belittlement, that 'flaw', or that mistake.

I am truth.

Truth is eternal.

What is eternal is what binds us,

to each other,

to Infinity,

and to a deep knowing of who we are.

So if I know that I am a fragment, a slice of, an embodiment of what is divine and eternal, and if I can identify with that part of me as me, it's unlikely I'm going to be walking around feeling uncomfortable, anxious and self-conscious, because to be honest, I'll probably be too busy being in a state of awe and contentment.

But if I don't have any type of devotional practice, I'm at risk of believing that Life is just this random thing that seems to be happening to me, pulling me in all different and conflicting directions; a thing that demands a lot from me, and often disappoints me. I'll weigh my life and experiences up against the folks around me, which will only lead to more despair. I will feel fundamentally flawed, broken, lacking.

Being conscious of the Self means, by default, that we're aware of the consciousness of all humanity. This brings a togetherness which simply does not have time or energy for the damning state of self-belittlement.

As you can see - there is more to this picture that a simple conversation about 'confidence.'

Confidence, to me, is a strange and often bracing word; not one I entirely resonate with. I would much rather feel connected to my life source, than merely confident in a room of people. I have absolutely let go of that 'goal' of sorts. I spent so much of my life prefacing conversations and circumstances with internal chatter with all the reasons I didn't belong, fit in, blah blah blah. I got bored of that voice, and I'm tired of hearing it from other women.

Yep, you are different. You are different from me, and her, and him, and she, and that person over there, too. That is the way it's suppose to be.

How can you look more kindly on those worldly differences, and perhaps appreciate them, all whilst looking for the humanity that you share with each of us? Please, try it on. See how it fits you.

Perhaps we're able to exude a quiet confidence, laced with grace, when we're walking around simply sensing the Infinite nature of our being.

Something to contemplate.

Sat nam.


PS: There's still tickets available to both Utopia Brisbane (November 7) and Sydney (November 14). You can find your tickets here.

I'm certain you've got a friend or two who would get a lot out of watching this video. Thank you in advance for sharing it.

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    • 4 November 2015

      Exactly what I needed..as always. Thank you!

    • Lorna
      4 November 2015

      You are so wise and so ballsy and true!
      Thank you Tara.
      Keep creating and inspiring.


    • Kim
      4 November 2015

      This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you x

    • Beccy
      4 November 2015

      Perfect timing as always Tara.
      This message has been making its way to me in different ways for the past 2 weeks and bam... Finally just got it!
      I'm going to go and just sit with this for a while :)

    • 4 November 2015

      Man. Was so engrossed listening to this.

      When you said to close your eyes ...

      The first one I felt immediately in my solar plexus. A tightening.

      The second an entire expansion of my body.

      Thank you Tara. Again :)

    • Veronica
      4 November 2015

      Wow, thank you so much. I have been searching, fighting, goal setting, desire mapping, discussing and generally grappling with this idea of why I am not as confident as I feel I can be, and why I envy others who are. This shift in thinking feels like the missing link. Writing it down-now. Thank you. Lightbulb moment. X

    • 4 November 2015

      Hi Tara

      Interestingly the second time I shut my eyes to 'consciously feel myself' I felt as though I wanted to burst into tears. A reminder that being authentic and connected is sometimes painful but that the pain eases as truth becomes the normal state of being. As it dissolves. A reminder perhaps to hear our bodies message and give it what it is asking for. I know I'm struggling at the moment so tuning in just confirmed that. Will continue the TLC.
      Much love Carly xxx

    • 4 November 2015

      Wow, what a perspective shift. And like you say, it's all just word play! Changing the order of those words conjured an entirely different energy. From tight chest, to open & ready. You are such a great example & inspiration Tara xxx

    • 4 November 2015

      "Perhaps we’re able to exude a quiet confidence, laced with grace, when we’re walking around simply sensing the Infinite nature of our being."

      Wow - absolutely beautiful. xo

    • 5 November 2015

      Wow! I dont think I blinked until you told me to close my eyes. Very Powerful Tara.


    • Vivien Murray
      5 November 2015

      Thankyou Tara. Perfect timing as always x

    • Bianca
      5 November 2015

      Thank you for your post, Tara!
      As a side note :-) - if you translate the german word for "confident" literally, it is "self-certain" or "self-conscious". So it's one of the most common mistakes Germans make when speaking english.
      I always wondered how this seemingly twisted meaning of the word "self-conscious" came about - it could be so beautiful.
      Love and light*

    • 5 November 2015

      Beautiful - this was SO delightful to watch and listen to.

      Much love xxx

    • 6 November 2015

      Absolutely beautiful ✨and so is Layla?x

    • 10 November 2015

      Wonderful heart musings and energy as always Tara. There is such a calmness and grace when you speak, I just want to keep listening and reaching for more. Thank you for this video, lovely one.

      I think bringing awareness and mindfulness to how we feel when self-consciousness is at play vs. the different energy and vibe of being consciously thy self, can start to make all the difference, and of course, backing ourselves and just giving it a go as you say!

      Big love,
      Nicole x

    • Katie?
      19 November 2015

      I so look forward to all of your profound posts and this one is truly divine! I have read it several times and it resonates so deeply. I am extremely grateful for your inspiration Tara! You make the world a better place.



    • Amy
      22 November 2015

      I love your stuff

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