I have found – recently, specifically – that connection, true, gracious, authentic connection, does not require confidence.
It requires consciousness.
I think many of us have it backwards. I've witness women withhold themselves from encounters because they don't feel ready, or good enough, or open enough, or feminine enough, or as though they have enough in common. Enough enough enough.
Of course, the reason I can see this so keenly is because it was my very personal and very real-feeling 27 year anthem. These days, though, I try to sing a different tune.
Give yourself a chance at revelling in the beauty of your own fricken consciousness. Come on! Let's do this.
I believe there's another significant thing at play in the state of the self-conscious. As well as the focus being fixated on how the self is being perceived, the self also believes – in a moment of self-consciousness – that it's separate from God(dess). There has been a separation from Truth with a capital T.
In Kundalini Yoga, we greet one another with 'Sat Nam.' It means, 'truth is my identity.'
Truth is who I am.
Not the littleness that my mind touts in my name.
Not that comparison, or that belittlement, that 'flaw', or that mistake.
I am truth.
Truth is eternal.
What is eternal is what binds us,
to each other,
and to a deep knowing of who we are.
So if I know that I am a fragment, a slice of, an embodiment of what is divine and eternal, and if I can identify with that part of me as me, it's unlikely I'm going to be walking around feeling uncomfortable, anxious and self-conscious, because to be honest, I'll probably be too busy being in a state of awe and contentment.
But if I don't have any type of devotional practice, I'm at risk of believing that Life is just this random thing that seems to be happening to me, pulling me in all different and conflicting directions; a thing that demands a lot from me, and often disappoints me. I'll weigh my life and experiences up against the folks around me, which will only lead to more despair. I will feel fundamentally flawed, broken, lacking.
Being conscious of the Self means, by default, that we're aware of the consciousness of all humanity. This brings a togetherness which simply does not have time or energy for the damning state of self-belittlement.
As you can see - there is more to this picture that a simple conversation about 'confidence.'
Confidence, to me, is a strange and often bracing word; not one I entirely resonate with. I would much rather feel connected to my life source, than merely confident in a room of people. I have absolutely let go of that 'goal' of sorts. I spent so much of my life prefacing conversations and circumstances with internal chatter with all the reasons I didn't belong, fit in, blah blah blah. I got bored of that voice, and I'm tired of hearing it from other women.
Yep, you are different. You are different from me, and her, and him, and she, and that person over there, too. That is the way it's suppose to be.
How can you look more kindly on those worldly differences, and perhaps appreciate them, all whilst looking for the humanity that you share with each of us? Please, try it on. See how it fits you.
Perhaps we're able to exude a quiet confidence, laced with grace, when we're walking around simply sensing the Infinite nature of our being.
Something to contemplate.
PS: There's still tickets available to both Utopia Brisbane (November 7) and Sydney (November 14). You can find your tickets here.
I'm certain you've got a friend or two who would get a lot out of watching this video. Thank you in advance for sharing it.