This morning, I’m contemplating the difference between Enthusiasm and Impatience. (Brought to you by nudging questions from The Gene Keys)
If you’re familiar with my podcast, Sounds Like Bliss, you’ll know that I’m a big and true believer that words are worlds unto themselves. They’re each their own cosmos, latent with not only their essential essence but imbued with the meaning we give them.
The contemplation begins here: What is the difference between how each of these states of being feels in our bodies?
Enthusiasm has an innocence to it; a natural and effervescent zest for life. Its lifeforce eagerly wants to propel forward in pursuit of what feels good, nourishing, expansive and without us even knowing it, in servitude to the whole. Enthusiasm opens the heart and mind and syncs them in a delightful kind of coherence and co-operation. It feels childlike and playful but without being soiled by rushing.
Impatience on the other hand? The clearest way I feel to describe it is this: physiological proof in our nervous systems that we do not trust in life.
It’s a marker of both incoming pessimism and attempted control, and it’s akin to doubting whether Spring will indeed follow Winter.
I sit here now feeling into areas of my own life that Impatience easily stakes a claim on, and I’m simply stilling myself for a moment in an attempt to find the Impatience within me. Yep, there it is, in my nervous system, a background hum of distrust in Being, itself.
I’m reminding myself not to play mind tricks on myself; not to poetically attempt to convince myself that Impatience is some sort of divine dissatisfaction or potentially healthy urge, because, let’s feel into it together, right now: it’s not. Impatience is a hyper-vigilant, energetic attempt at controlling something that, at this moment, cannot be.
Think about the activist not getting any sleep at night.
The parent hyper-attached to timelines of development for their child.
The overbearing leader with restless expectations that they’re community will simply do what they say.
There’s a teaching that Hiro Boga once shared with me, and I still carry it with me and draw upon its power as often as I can remember: Take a stand for the world in which you believe in, rather than pour energy into the world that you no longer want to see or participate in...
And I wonder if there's room for Enthusiasm to more effortlessly dance into the arena when we’re focused on what we want to create, rather than being constantly flooded with the toxin of Impatience as we keep eye-balling what’s not working.
Notice whether anything is coming up for you in an activating way as you read this.
Notice whether you think I’m suggesting that your grief at much of what is playing out in the world right now is unwarranted.
Notice whether you think I am suggesting that the way through the corruption we’re witnessing is to be a silent, soft, tender wallflower.
I am not.
There is a difference between Impatience and Injustice, between Impatience and Grief.
Impatience is incredibly familiar to us all.
I remember so vividly how it felt to be completely overwhelmed by Hyperemesis Gravidarum earlier this year, despising the days, weeks and months that still stood in the way of now and having my baby in my arms. I remember that my only priority was to numb the entire experience, to escape the moment, to sleep as much as I could, to lose as many moments possible to digital time through scrolling and Netflix, anything to take me away from the pain. And the thing is, I’m not even sure I would do it any differently if I were to find myself there again.
I remember when my symptoms started to ease a little, and my celebration of hitting the milestone of 20-weeks pregnant was then swiftly disrupted by a disgusting kind of Impatience that rippled through me, absolutely devastated that I still had 5 months of my pregnancy out in front of me. I hated Time, itself.
I can only speculate the Impatience flooding your being if you are one being held hostage (in any number of ways) due to questionable (at the least) governance.
For our own health, radiance and mental wellness, we must somehow be able to alchemise Impatience into the gift of Patience, but in this climate, how?
HOW DO WE TRUST IN A SPACE THAT IS SO LIMINAL?
We breathe, right the way down into our bellies.
We look out, and up, and we look for harmony. We remember that Nature doesn’t rush but rather her natural seasons provide a natural enthusiasm.
Watch the sky light up at sunset.
Watch how quickly the grass grows after rainfall.
Watch the regeneration after a normal, healthy bushfire season.
And witness, too, how resilient Nature is, how resourceful she is, how much creative energy can still be present and palpable in the conditions that perhaps aren’t ideal, but aren’t being further fiddled with thanks to impulses of impatience, restlessness.
She’s not trying to escape anything, but rather, to regenerate, to restore balance, to create anew.
The question, first and foremost, is: What state are you currently acting out of? Impatience of Enthusiasm?
Secondarily: How can we create the world we want to live in, without Impatience hogging the wheel? I don’t have the answer for you but certainly, invite you to explore it within the context of your life.
And perhaps a third question: How can we restore trust in life, knowing that Patience is inextricably linked to trust?
In deep thought,