20 February 2019

Episode 8: I Stand For Women's Autonomy

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Sounds Like Bliss

Beautiful friends!

Hello from Saigon! I’m in Vietnam right now with my doTERRA community, celebrating a whole bunch of our new wellness advocates, most of whom are in the first year of their business. Today they’ve organised an Amazing Race around the city for us. I’m on Day 2 of my cycle. Pray for me! Ha!

Women's autonomy --  this is our focal point in this week’s podcast episode. These are two words that come in like a fast moving train. They demand attention, respect, space. These words want to be noticed for all that they stand for. They are certainly that why behind my why behind my why behind my why. I do not stand for women's autonomy because I have completely figured it out. I stand for women's autonomy because I believe that part of my incarnation is to really and truly be an example of what this looks like in its continual becoming. I think that it's part of my purpose here to continue to claim more and more of this for myself, so that I can be an example for whoever else out there needs to lean into that light as well in order to remember their own.

This is a conversation that I’m so passionate about having, but I’m fully aware that it’s not always the easiest. I would be compassionate and sensitive enough to offer a trigger warning on this episode, which of course is delivered with care and love. I just know for sure that in moments of my past in which I was giving my power away, there are some core sections of this conversations that would have made me queasy. And that’s okay.

As always, Sounds Like Bliss is not a place for you to ‘learn.’ It’s a place for you to receive and roll in whatever you choose to.

Tune into this episode for these sounds:

  • Empowered women are the driving force behind real and true metamorphosis
  • How an anchored and powerful sense of self can draw the best out from the humans around us, including men
  • The more women we see claim their autonomy, the less women we’ll see in abusive / non-serving relationships, unfulfilling work and circumstances that don’t inspire them
  • The importance freeing ourselves from the burdens of our lineage
  • An autonomous woman is not an ice queen, she in tune with the boundaries that help her to thrive
  • She knows that no one can make her feel anything and that she’s not responsible for the way people perceive her.
  • She has the inner and outer resources to design a life that is aligned with the incarnation that her soul chose this lifetime.
  • She values INTERDEPENDENCE in a culture that romanticises codependency and celebrates independence.  
  • The two accelerated pathways I offer you so you can generate these inner and outer resources

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Thank you for being here today and tuning in, love! If you found value in today's podcast, please subscribe on iTunes and share this episode on your social feed of choice. Instagram is my digital playground, and you can tag me there at @tara_bliss. If you're feeling particularly generous today, leave me a review on iTunes. That will help this sound get into even more eardrums. Thank you so much in advance for that!

Yours in bliss,

Full Transcript

Hey beautiful humans. Today's episode sounds like bliss because we're chatting about women's autonomy... 

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Say hello to that exhale, and to those goosebumps, and to that moment of truth or beauty or generosity. Here, we will explore struggles, celebrations, and diversions, stuff that life's made of. There will be deep thoughts interrupted often by belly laughs because that's also how life works. Some spoken word because, you know, sometimes nothing says it quite like a poem. Conversations with friends, new and old, and soul riffs straight out of my noggin and my heart into your headphones.

I am your host, Tara, and you're listening to Sounds Like Bliss. Welcome.

Welcome back friends. I'm so glad to have you here. Always such a pleasure. Now, I am not in the sauna today. I am in a little hotel room in Port Macquarie on the east coast of Australia. So, our sound might be a little different. There might be some funky stuff going on in the background. We're just going to roll with it because that's what we're doing. We're going to roll with this environment that we've got going on here.

So, before we dive into today's episode, I wanted to kick this off with some beautiful words that I recently received from a dear friend, Bree. She said, "I finally gifted my ears some Sounds Like Bliss today. Truthfully, I've never been a podcast fan. They feel like a one night stand to me, leaving me feeling like I've been over-consuming and looking externally to fulfil something. But I wanted to sleep in with her. I wanted to bring Sounds Like Bliss croissants and coffee for breakfast, and stare until she woke up. The pauses in there adjust everything. Thank you for creating this." I receive that so fully. Gosh, that sounds so hygge and sensual and delicious, and I want to be a part of that party. I want to be in that bed.

Listen everyone, women's autonomy, this is our focal point today. These are two words that come in like a fast moving train. They demand attention, respect, space. These words want to be noticed for all that they stand for. They are certainly that why behind my why behind my why behind my why. I do not stand for women's autonomy because I have completely figured it out. I stand for women's autonomy because I believe that part of my incarnation is to really and truly be an example of what this looks like in its continual becoming. I think that it's part of my purpose here to continue to claim more and more of this for myself, so that I can be an example for whoever else out there needs to lean into that light as well in order to remember their own.

So, as always, I am going to connect with you now on what comes into my mind and my heart as almost a 32 year old woman who classifies myself as very autonomous at this point. As I roll through these ideas and these impressions, feel your body and feel into this. I guess I also want to preface this whole conversation ... If I just drop into my heart right now, because if you've been watching me on Instagram stories, I mean, my eyes have been leaking. My eyeballs have been leaking with tears on Instagram stories. This is very non-typically. No, I'm not pregnant.

But I'm feeling a lot of emotion lately as I continue to deepen into the work that I am doing, which is the life that I am doing. They're not separate. They touch each other. As I feel into the core essence of this message, my particular message of women's autonomy ... and there are many, intersexual feminism, identity politics. There are many voices on this. I want to preface this by saying that this conversation isn't always easy, because as we discuss women's autonomy, what runs alongside that conversation is one of the opposite of that.

We must discuss the power structures that are inhibiting our freedom, and our sovereignty, and our choice, the relationships that we're not thriving in that we need to take a look at. You know what I mean? So, I just want to say that if this episode is a difficult one for you, to listen to ... know that I see you. This episode is just as much for you as it is for the women who will listen to this and be fist pumping the air on their morning walk, or going, "Fuck yes," in response to what they hear.

This episode is just as much for those of you who will listen to this and feel something in the pit of your stomach drop, or feel something within you open up that you're maybe perhaps not quite ready to look at. I am going to hold space for all of us here to journey with this episode in the way that we need to. Something that's really evident in my own leadership and the way that I love to play a small role in empowering women is that your pain is safe here. I trust you to feel it, and I trust you to understand that a lack of clarity or immense misalignment in your life is also a messenger. Maybe something that we talk about right now will unlock that next breadcrumb for your path ahead.

So, here we go. Empowered women, I believe, are the driving force behind real and true metamorphosis in our communities and in the world.

Some of these points, I'm not even going to reiterate. I will just pause for a second and allow you to feel if that might be true in your bones as well.

An anchored and powerful sense of self means that women can naturally draw the best out from the people around them, because they are not relating from fear or scarcity or FOMO, or simply wanting to belong because they don't want to be alone. But instead from alignment, and genuine care, and sovereignty, and resonance, and when women have this powerful sense of self, and when that draws out the best in the people around them, of course this obviously also includes the men in our lives.

So, women's autonomy is autonomy really for the entire ecosystem. We bring people along with us as we reclaim our lights, whether we like it or not. The more women we see claim their autonomy, the less women we will see in abusive and non-serving relationships, unfulfilling work and circumstances that don't inspire them. The more women we will see freed from the burdens of their lineage.

Maybe you just want to give me a little virtual digital fist pump now if you consider yourself a woman who is actively and consciously participating in your life in such a way where you are aware that you are looping off karma in your lineage. Hands up if you've ever said, like I have many times, "This stops here with me. This generational thing, this thing that's been woven, this thread throughout my lineage, this particular one stops with me. I am rewriting this. If I am to spawn, then this is going to stop with me."

An autonomous woman is not fearless, but she's brave. She is not an ice queen, but she is very in tune with the boundaries that help her to thrive because she understands how important her thriving is to her entire community. Despite what you may think of the word autonomy, she is not an island unto herself, because listen, the connection that she desires from others is meaningful and it's deep, because the connection that she's cultivated within herself is meaningful and deep, which means that the connection she can cultivate with others is light, and buoyant, and joyous because those are the qualities of connection that she's cultivates within herself as well.

Here's a big one. She knows that no one can make her feel anything. If I had a magic wand, and if I could erase a certain flavour of vocabulary that comes out of women's mouth, it would be, "That makes me feel like this. He said that and it made me feel like this. You're making me feel like this when you said that." It's a complete de-crowning of your power.

She knows that she's not responsible for the way that people perceive her. This is another big one, and we spoke about this in an earlier episode. It's about having the courage to allow people to misunderstand you, to allow them to think that you're bossy or bitchy, or way too boundaried, or over-confident, or that you take up too much space. All of those things could be the opposite from the truth of who you are, or they could be aspects of your personality that are in alignment with the incarnation of your soul. There is great freedom in letting people think what they want to think about you. I know this is big work for us as women.

She knows the role of darkness in her life. The darkness is the contrast that makes the colours more vivid. She's very sensitive to when she's giving her power away, and when she becomes cognisant of this, she will do the physical, the subtle work required to gather it back up again, whether that's energetic work in a meditation, whether that's practising  conscious communication. She'll do the work to empower herself with her own power to regain what was always hers in the beginning.

She understands that the entire cosmos rests behind a single choice. My girl, Casey, has a beautiful tattoo on her foot, and it says, "Thy word is a lamp." So, that's really speaking to the power of our words as well. But an autonomous woman, she understands that a whole reality, an entire different reality could split out from the next moment depending on what choice you may, right? Oh, so good. So, we exercise choice consciously, as often as we can remember.

Something that pops into my being as I reflect on autonomy, if I kind of contemplate it, it's having the inner and outer resources to design a life, and I'm going to keep saying this, that's aligned with the incarnation of her soul, of your soul, the one that your soul chose this lifetime. So, you will know. You will have a really beautiful sense if your soul has chosen an incarnation that might be classified as "a simple life," a beautiful, simple, spacious, humble life. That could be your idea of luxury.

Certainly, there are moments where I need to weave elements of that type of DNA throughout my life for me to feel spacious and luxury and like I'm on path. Others of you will know, as I do, that you have a role to play in being very visible in the world. That does not always mean that you enjoy it. Let me just say that. It does not always mean that you enjoy it, but it's almost as though you don't have a choice.

Autonomy, to me, is cultivating these inner resources, so that we can show up in the way that we are to, in the way that we choose to, and also having the outer resources to ensure that our soul can fulfil its purpose. Again, for some of you, those outer resources will be having enough. For others of you, you will need to go much more than enough because you will need to generate your resources and the abundance, and what you have received into others, or into other communities. You'll need to be a voice for something this lifetime. But it's making sure that you're either resources within, or that you can create them without to support you and why you're here.

This society that we live in, it doesn't raise us with autonomy as a value, I don't believe. It values codependency, and it values highly strung independence rather than interdependence, which is all of those constituents of that ecosystem of that ecology knowing their place in it, drawing upon each other's strengths, leveraging each others resources, working together. One person's the oxygen. One person's the hydrogen. One person's the damp soil. One person is that big oak tree. It's this beautiful interdependence. That is the sweet spot. A wolf pack full of sovereign beings that can relate to each other without hooks, and wounds, and unresolved pain.

An autonomous woman can hold space for another's pain without becoming it. She can experience her own pain whilst knowing that she's not it. So, me, my path, my choice, my decision this lifetime is to be a living breathing example of women's autonomy continually becoming, because it's not something that you arrive at. I think it's something that ... It's a choice that you continually make. It's not enough to be an example. Part of my path is to provide pathways to you, so that if you choose to, you can walk beside me as we unpack this after generations and generations and generations of oppression, that we now rise up together alongside on another.

So, the pathways that I offer to you come in the form of content. This podcast is a really great example of that. I want you to have a soft place to land where you can put in your earphones and go on a journey and transform. You can transform your life based on what you discern you want to take from these podcasts.

My Instagram playground is another really sweet space where you can show up from time to time. I certainly hope that you don't spend too much time on there. What I share there, particularly in my squares, is peppered and spiced up with Mary's flavours of autonomy, and adventure, and freedom, and a reclamation of self.

Then other than that, there's two pathways that you can journey with me, that can accelerate this journey for yourself, two pathways. One should be very clear to you by now. That's Rebels of Light. Rebels of Light is a pathway of cultivating that inner autonomy, those inner resources that we spoke about. You don't have long to make this decision.

So, we close the cart for this year February 25. I know that if you've been following along, you have connected with the being that is Rebels of Light. I feel by now that you know enough about her on whether this is something that you would like to journey with. But just to remind you, she is so much more than a mentoring programme. This experience is a full-bodied breathing code for living out a truly powerful life.

Something that I've been speaking to lately is she teaches you how to leave room in your life for deep feeling, healing, and freedom, which only leads to more joy, lightness, levity, creation, expansion. The way that we do this is we combine subtle stillness practises, monthly mentoring, DNA days, guest teachers. This is all unravelling within a really safe container, so that you can alchemise your life in a community that's showing up and really rocking this.

Rebels of Light awaits your participation as I do. So, head on over to Tarabliss.com.au. Do consider joining us. You've got until February 25 beautiful people. This is one of the pathways that I can offer you in joining me in reclaiming this autonomy as a collective.

The second pathway that I'm always really proud to present is to partner with me in building a thriving business and community with doTERRA Essential Oils. What I love about this option is that, yes, we get to draw of community, but if you choose to build a doTERRA business with me, or with anybody, then what you are really choosing to do is you are opting into a life in which you are getting to work on those external resources.

So, for me, and I will shamelessly speak about this because I think as women, maybe it's this hill of shame within us that we have from generation past, but financial freedom is a part of that wellness pie of life. We have our health. We have our relationships. We have all these different aspects of life, our spirituality, the time that we're spending in nature, connectivity. Financial wellness is a thing, and it's okay for us to desire that. It's okay for us to open our arms to the possibility of how transformed our lives would become once we work these skills of financial autonomy.

In just over four years, I've been building a doTERRA business with my team. For just over four years, we have three seven figure earners on my team, including myself. We have four half a million dollar a year earners, and we have 34 six, and multiple six figure earners, as well as hundreds of homes really that are being financially supplemented, which of course, provides greater choice.

Now, I share that with you so that you know that this is a really possibility. Are those results typically? No, because most people aren't willing to take that action. If you were to take typically action, would you reach those results? No. You need to be pretty atypical in the pursuit of your autonomy. This doTERRA platform in which we share nature's gifts, nature's medicine, nature's magic with out communities allows us to seek that out, and to cultivate that together as a community.

Now, if you're standing at the gateway of that type of resource freedom, if that's the type of change and transformation that you want to create in your life, and in the lives of the people that you care about, as well as the lives of people that you'll never ever meet, which includes thousands of lives that are involved in our entire supply chain, then you must be willing to go beyond your comfort and lead yourself. Which is to say you must be willing to manage your attention. Forget time management. [inaudible 00:22:21] time. Manage our attention, our greatest currency, right?

Your vitality. Lead your own growth in order to become a leader and a light to and for other humans. If that's the type of resource autonomy that you're going after ... And remember, this isn't for everybody, but if this is for you, you have to leave your reasons why not at the doormat. You have to leave them behind, all those reasons, and all those excuses that really subconsciously run so much of your life. You have to be willing to drop them, and then to feel the discomfort that comes with living a life without those excuses.

This is what I'm inspired by. If we are privileged enough in this lifetime, and anybody listening to this is ... If you have the resource to have a podcast app in your life and some headphones, then there's a level of privilege that is evident and real. If we have choice, we should exercise it. This is what I believe. If we have the choice, we should exercise our choice.

There are women on this planet who do not have the luxury of deciding what's in #alignment for them. They're in survival. They are still oppressed by systems that are not making room them, their families, their communities, or their own power. So, sometimes I'll be really honest, my greatest frustration as a doTERRA leader is when I feel apathy from people who say that they are building this business. Gosh, it drives me crazy, if I can just be real with you for a second.

When I feel people say, "I don't feel like it. Oh, I just don't really feel like it," or when I hear someone say, "I'm afraid of what that person will think of me," I'm like, "Oh, Jesus." So, I get it, but there are women on this earth who would give anything and everything to be able to pick up a phone and invite someone into an experience if it means that it can help that person, and that it can also increase their own likelihood of thriving, if it can positively influence their family.

I think about this beautiful woman in Kenya, who had to resort to selling her own body, prostituting her body to be able to provide for her family. Then our partner on the ground, doTERRA's partner on the ground over there in Kenya would see this woman doing this, and approached her, and offered her, "Hey, look. I have an offer for you here. Would you prefer to pick or harvest pink peppercorns for essential oils, so that you no longer have to do this for your family?" I think about this woman climbing up and down trees every day, collecting peppercorns.

I'm sure some days she wakes up, and she's like, "I don't really feel like climbing trees," but she has that opportunity to provide for her family in a way that can restore and reclaim her dignity is the reason that she gets out of bed. So, I don't want to use the shock factor with you, and I'm certainly not trying to shame anyone, but I do know that a lot of you listening are already building this business. If there is anything that you can just erase from your being, it's apathy, this sense of not caring, this sense of I can't be bothered today. Can you please bloody be bothered?

Your autonomy is so powerful, because when people see you in that light ... People walk towards me because of what I represent, not because of what I have, but because of the work that I have done to become the woman that I am and will continue to become. This is what women's autonomy sounds like. It's like I can stand here with an understanding of who I am, and what I represent, and own that, and open my arms to more women who want to join that.

That's the result of the resilience that we cultivate by choosing in, by using our decision muscles, decisive muscles of saying that, "I am going to climb up out of the oppression of my own mind and my own thoughts and my own excuses in order to take my community, and me, somewhere new."

So, your desire to create change in someone else's life with this potent earth medicine and business opportunity, that desire needs to be greater than worrying about whether your auntie thinks that you're in a pyramid scheme or not. By the way, you're not. I'm so bored of this story, I'm so bored. Four years in, and we're only just kicking off.

Four years ago, it really seemed to me that there weren't that many people of my age. I was 27 back then, but what we've proven now is that this industry is not just for a certain type of person, that it's for anybody with a fire in their belly that wants to create, wants to be in the energy of creation.

So, let's start to wrap this up. What I wanted to do to you today, I wanted you to feel into whether my version of women's autonomy is something that you want to walk towards, or that you want to expand within yourself. I wanted to offer you two pathways to do that. One, of course, is Rebels of Light. The other is building a doTERRA business with me.

If you are willing to adopt that second framework and take action, I want you to walk towards me, and this is how you will do that. You'll head to tarabliss.com.au/doterra, it's D-O-T-E-R-R-A. I want you to place your first order. You're going to start with a home essentials kit, or a nature's solutions kit. Then we'll get you started.

If you are keen just to get started on your journey with the oils for the first time, you're going to take that same pathway. You're just going to get those oils in your life. Then I'll help you get set up as a customer. But listen, great freedom comes with great responsibility. Let me share with you what that means to me. I am not responsible for your journey, and I am not responsible for changing your life. I am not responsible for the choices that you make, but I am responsible for fulfilling the purpose of my incarnation. That means that I must share with you what has got me here. These are two pathways that have gotten me here.

So, whether autonomy to you means emotional freedom, which it should. That should be your number one priority, emotional freedom. Whether that means owning your own home, whether that means having natural healthcare, so that you don't need to rely on a broken system and give away your power to our current medical client, whether that means cultivating flexibility in your schedule, or to stop attracting unhealthy relationships in your life, whether it means travelling the world, becoming more courageous, finding your community, noticing your community as they walk towards you, all of that ... Every moment and every portion of that sounds like bliss to me. I know that I can help you with that..

Friends, thank you for being here today, and for tuning in and spending this time with me. Thank you for exploring this topic with me. I know that it's a big one. I want you to know that as I want traversing through the last few years of my life, though there was so much magic, and abundance, and expansion, there were aspects of my life where I was giving away so much power, and I felt so trapped.

I want you to know that there's a way through this, that this will pass, though it will require your participation. Thank you for having these big, searing, sometimes uncomfortable converse here with me. I love you.

If you found value in today's podcast, go ahead, subscribe. Subscribe to your podcast platform of choice. As you know, I love to hang out on Instagram. So, come and tag me there and have a chat. Let me know what you're taking away from this episode. You'll find me at @tara_bliss. If you're feeling particularly generous, leaving a review on iTunes, which has helped me get these sounds out far and wide. Thank you so much.

For show notes, resources, and updates on what I have on offer for you, jump on over to Tarabliss.com.au/episode8, that's episode and the number eight, and subscribe straight to your inbox. That's where I'm going to send my notes. Have a beautiful moment right here, right now. Bye-bye now.

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