1 April 2019

Episode 13: Our Thoughts On Hard Work

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Sounds Like Bliss


Hey, sweet spud!


On Instagram recently I asked you how those words ‘hard work’ sit with you.

We as a team, were bombarded. It was incredible.

It’s straight up magic how you engaged with this request for your thoughts on this. Thank you.

We had some push back… Ew, hard work! That’s the old paradigm...

We have some hard work evangelists… Hard work is what makes me proud to be who I am!

We received your desire to lean into this more… I know I avoid effort and it’s to my detriment.

We were also sent some really beautiful musings and reflections that erred on the edge of poetry.

I learned so much about you and about us reading your responses.

And today I’m excited to share what I learnt, and what I personally believe, about hard work.

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Thank you for being here today and tuning in, love! If you found value in today's podcast, please subscribe on iTunes and share this episode on your social feed of choice. Instagram is my digital playground, and you can tag me there at @tara_bliss. If you're feeling particularly generous today, leave me a review on iTunes. That will help this sound get into even more eardrums. Thank you so much in advance for that!

Yours in bliss,

Full Transcript

Hey, beautiful humans. Today's episode 'Sounds Like Bliss' because we are chatting about 'Our Thoughts On Hard Work'...

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Say hello to that exhale, and to those goosebumps, and to that moment of truth or beauty or generosity. Here we will explore struggles and celebrations and devotions. The stuff that life's made of. There will be deep thoughts, interrupted often by belly laughs, because that's also how life works.

Some spoken word because, you know, sometimes nothing says it quite like a poem. Conversations with friends, new and old. Soul riffs, straight out of my noggin and my heart, and into your headphones.

I am your host, Tara, and you're listening to 'Sounds Like Bliss'. Welcome.

Hi, loves. Good day. How you doin'? Hello from San Diego. Apologies if the sound is inconsistent or if you hear a plane or traffic or TV coming from the neighbour. You know how it goes. Life on the road. I try and keep this nice and crispy for you but, we do what we can, huh?

Welcome back to 'Sounds Like Bliss'. Hard work. Hard work. Here we are unpacking hard work together. I asked you what your thoughts on those two words, "hard, work". "hard work?" I asked you what your thoughts are recently on those words.

We as a team, I got to tell you, we were bombarded with your thoughts on hard work and it was magical. The engagement was so impressive to me. We received a little bit of everything. We had some pushback against the words hard work, you know, "Ew, hard work. Yuck. That's the old paradigm."

We have some hard work evangelists in this community. Hard work is what makes me proud to be who I am. We received your desire to lean into this more. For instance, I know I need to develop this within myself. I avoid effort and I know it's to my detriment. So, we kind of heard the whole combo platter of your thoughts and feelings on the words hard work.

The reason that I wanted to bring this conversation to you is because I've started hearing these words again. My relationship with these words has certainly changed. I've noticed that they're very polarising and what I notice is that some people's relationship to this word helps them to thrive. Other people's relationship to this word helps them to hide.

So, what I want to do right now, it's a collective honouring of however you relate to this is totally fine, but I just thought that given your wild feedback here, that this would become a new segment on the podcast. The segment will be called 'Our Thoughts On'. So, welcome to 'Our Thoughts On Hard Work'.

I learned so much about you, and about us, reading your responses. Here I am today, banging on with the very same topic that largely launched this podcast and that's that words are worlds that we build with our own perception. While, yes, words have their own core essences, their own flavours and personalities, it is us that shapes them by the way that we relate to them.

As I was reading through your responses, I caught a glimpse of what the spiritual community would call the 'old paradigm'. I imagine these as statements that our parents or grandparents may have preached. These beliefs land like soundbites of conditioning and they read like bumper cards, stickers, like nothing good can come without it. Or that you have to work hard to earn your place in the world. I'd certainly read a little bit of that.

On the flip side, years ago, hashtag ease and grace, it became a hashtag and a vision board quote that ripped through the hearts of many of us, didn't it? I jumped on that bandwagon. I bought that t-shirt and I waxed lyrical, really, about it to my clients and in my blog posts. I spoke about the new paradigm, as many others were.

Fundamentally, I still agree with the basis of that perspective, that attaching our worth to our efforts is flawed and harmful and is killing people's spirits.

However, there's something that ease and grace doesn't speak to, or at least the movement of ease and grace. That's this, there is no harm in being proud of our efforts. There is a difference between being defined by our efforts and in being proud of our efforts.

I look out at my community for proof of this in my doTERRA organisation. The people, that I noticed, that have a healthy relationship with hard work, they're really thriving. They enjoy the mechanics of being challenged. They reveal in witnessing themselves become who they must become to continue to generate their own momentum.

Frankly, I've noticed that these are the same people who become bored when they're not in the arena. All right. When they're not participating in something. That looks like a really rich, beautiful life, to me. This is a really important distinction to make.

They're not gluttons for punishment. Quite the opposite. They're lit up. As I witnessed women in my mentoring programme become rebels of lights, I know that it will be those that sit with the huge invitation to dive deep within, and explore the content, that will receive the most from the experience and transform exponentially.

It is not an easy thing to sit with all of the occurrences that have shaped who we are today. Some might call that hard work.

As for you, when it came to this, you said things like this. Hayley from @ikigaioils, "It makes me proud. I used to feel heavy, but now it empowers me. I am in control of my pace and outputs."

Claire Warden (@clairewarden_), "When I work hard, I feel powerful. Satisfied. Clearer and more energised."

@the_seeker_v, "I'm a big feeler, and all about being, that hard work excites me. So, those words feel good."

@naturalorderwellness says, "I love hard work. It's a season. It's a mindset. It's a process and for me, it needs a plan."

@thebeautyjournal_, "First words I think of are grit, passion, resilience." @ashyknight, "It is never easy, if it's doing the things that feel uncomfortable, so that you can reap the benefit."

@deanzart_ says, "Hard work is like the opening band for the epic headliner for success and fulfilment. Everything worthwhile I've ever had, has required hard work, career relationships, motherhood, and personal practises. I feel empowered by the hard work."

@nourishinglifeco says, "Hard work is honourable. The world needs people doing hard work within their passions."

When I look around at my community, at people who allow the words hard work to work them into a lather, oftentimes I notice that they are also the people who seem to be feeling a little lost, particularly as it pertains to their mission, or their vision, or their creative expression. They don't seem to be in creation, as much as I sense they'd like to be.

This is because they fear being in their masculine or burning out. This is what I hear a lot. There's a fear and this isn't what they say, but this is what I see and this is what I sense. If I really go all in on this, I'm going to be too angular, too masculine. I'm going to be too tired. I'm going to be too exhausted.

They're waiting for something. I've witnessed people over spiritualise and over philosophise their lives in ways that haven't served the incarnation of their soul. I've also witnessed in others, and in myself, what is possible when we create from the realm of no effort, which is to say, the world behind our closed eyes.

But, I've got to tell you that even that, even the realm of no effort, that is not a realm of passivity, despite you thinking it may be. Make no mistake that it takes gumption, my friends, to sit for 30 minutes or more and emotionally spike your body into becoming a vibrational match for that which you want to attract. It takes drive and will and desire to sit still like that.

So look, it all comes down, at the end of the day, to how we define it. If you burnt out in your early twenties from, maybe you were studying and working two jobs, or maybe you were caring for parents that were unwell. Maybe you shot your adrenals to smithereens and spent three years recovering in bed. Then, you may not have an encouraging relationship with hard work.

If you worked in corporate, under a misogynist jackass of a boss who piled task upon task and responsibility upon responsibility upon you, all the while, going around and handing out promotions to everyone else around you except you. Then, you may be flipping the bird to hard work right now and I hear you. I get it.

But, if your vision for what you were working towards was clear and if you knew you were following the bread crumbs of your life. If your why was searing and evident. If you were taking care of your body throughout the process, because my God, you cannot neglect that. Then, my hunch is that you would develop such incredible self esteem and self belief in the pursuit of your desires.

By the way, sometimes the hard work is walking away from that job, that provides you comfort, in order to support yourself better, not in continuing to slog it out. I think we've got this idea that hard work is slugging it out, but hard work is doing something that you don't want to do.

The spiritual community would say doing something that's out of alignment. But, most of the time I feel like what we're saying is out of alignment, is just simply something that our body doesn't want to do for preference of wanting to be in pleasure, instead. Few people want to do their taxes. Few people want to deal with a conflict within their workplace. It would be in their greatest alignment to do so.

So, I loved reading about your relationship to hard work and how you're walking the middle road with it. I love receiving how you're metabolising the idea of it in a way that fits for you.

@rachelleedom, she says, "I used to be very triggered by that word, feeling constricted and almost rebellious against it. But, recently I've reshaped it and so it represents intention and consistent effort."

@our_island_life says, "Hard work can be rewarding, but there's a difference between hard work and suffering."

Yeah, I hear that. I like that a lot.

@threadsthataregolden, "Hey sis, hard work is necessary. You get out of life what you put in, but it doesn't have to feel hard."

@nadine.lia_, "Hard work is something I've always done and done well, but I feel that, as I grow and soften, that I'm tuning into a more 'how can I work smarter in and in a way that serves others'."

@alinajack, you said, "It's like Tetris, only hard until you get things in the right sequence. Then, it lightens and flows for a bit, until it's time to up level again and go to the next level."

Yeah. I love me a metaphor.

@_theconsicousmama, "Hard work, yes, but how to manage and not burn out or sacrifice self care, love, and family."

@meganlecy, "I think hard is what makes me cringe. I much prefer fulfilling, necessary, important work."

@zipandzen, "For a long time, I was terrified of hard work. Now, I think that it's necessary that needs flow or room to allow."

@melinda_mayor is redefining hard work. Not long hours or burnout. That boundaried focus. Momentum equals freedom. I agree.

@the.light.mill, "Rather than difficult, I read it more as the challenging work, the big work, the meaningful work."

So, my loves. Perhaps you would like to hear some more thoughts of my own on this topic. As someone who has worked tirelessly, doing work that I enjoy. As someone who has attempted to meditate everything into my life. As someone, now, who is thriving with hard work as a true ally of mine. This is what I think.

The hard work is in facing our own resistance to what's going to expand us. The hard work is choosing to chop wood and carry water, instead of chase the bright and shiny squirrel that runs by us. That is to say that the hard work is often in doing the simplest things that carry us forward rather than allowing us to be all fan dangled by the upcoming glittery shit rolled in glitter. Let's put it that way.

The hard work is leaning into dissolve that conflict that's lingering rather than engaging in a nondescript email. The hard work is in wrestling with my own apathy and instead choosing in on my vision with my attention. The hard work is the emotional management, the moment by moment emotional management of what it means to be a creative human being today, in this world of so much information, with such high pace.

The hard work is knowing that right now in this moment, yep here I am, I'm making an excuse. Instead choosing, in the very next moment, to expand my perspective and choose something greater.

Here's the thing. It takes barely any effort to pick up the phone, or to write a book outline, or to educate someone on essential oils, or to organise an admin meeting to discuss the direction of my company, or to sit and meditate for 45 minutes. It takes more effort to resist the workout in the morning than it does to slide into some Lululemon and put the key in the car and drive out the driveway.

Here's another example. Did it take hard work to call in my love? Well, no, not really. I really did meditate this man into my life. I really did. However, leaving my marriage was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. That was obviously a critical prerequisite.

Was it hard for me or is it hard for me right now to be standing here in this room, recording this podcast for you? No. This isn't hard. But, do you want to hear something ironic? I resisted mapping out this outline and actually standing here, getting to the point where I was actually standing here recording. Oh my gosh. It's taken me nearly a week just to be here with you because of the resistance.

Just to sit in the humbleness of doing work that has no immediate feedback. By the way, this is one way that Instagram will destroy our creativity if we do not do the hard work of focus and discernment. We are so blazingly conditioned now to receive feedback on every thought. What I've noticed about myself is sitting down to map out content, which nobody can see. Nobody knows I'm sitting there mapping out content. Nobody's saying, "Oh, I'm going to double tap that. I'm going to comment back on that."

We are required to do the hard work of deciding and discernment. So, yes. Yes. It takes hard work, because this is why, I'm up against my greatest adversary and that is me, that's myself. That shit's not easy.

When I'm home, I have delicious food in my fridge and I have a dog that I think is my daughter half the time. When my man's around, he's walking around with all this swagger and it's very distracting. There's lots and lots of busy work that disguises itself as urgent work and important work and critical work and it just isn't.

I also have my greatest collaborator and that is me. That's also me. It's my soul. It's my businesses. That makes all the tension, which is critical to expansion, it makes it all worth it. Knowing that at the end of the day, I can have my back.

As a Glennon Doyle Melton would say that, "I can do hard things." So yes, it takes hard work. The hard work of overcoming the thoughts that lodge themselves as behaviours in my body that become habitual. Yes, choosing focus is hard work because it's never done and nothing worth it is ever done, by the way. Better begets better. There's almost more goodness to receive, which means transformation is constantly required of you.

Don't let that exhaust you. Let that breathe life into you.

The beauty is in wanting this. The beauty is in desiring this. Desiring to see what you're made of as you close out your business for the month. Desiring to see what you're made of as you do the hard work of softening and communicating in a moment that you would habitually shut down and throw a tantrum. Desiring to see what you're made of when you turn off the alarm and choose a meditation before a scroll on socials.

Perhaps, my favourite from Instagram was simply this. From @theearthymumma, "Hard work is the feeling of being uncomfortable doing the things we need to do to grow."

My loves, they call it hard because it's not easy. They call it work because it involves mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a result.

That doesn't sound scary to me. That doesn't sound intimidating to me. That doesn't sound worrisome. That sounds delightful and exploratory and perhaps the very reason why. Imagine. Imagine if it was the very reason why our souls, even incarnated as humans this time around, to explore and delight and to see what the human is capable of.

We are the only species who can plan and discern and think about our future. My ability to navigate that, which is not easy, informs me of what I'm capable of.

Friends, thank you so much for contributing to this conversation. I adore you. This is valuable, coming together like this. My intention with this episode was to contemplate the question, what do we as a community most likely need to believe in order to thrive the most?

I believe that we can't let two, four letter words, like hard work, derail us from why we're here. It would serve us to allow those words to serve us.

So, keep meditating. Keep consciously creating. Keep living with your intentionality on full blast because I do. That's always the first priority because all of that will fully inform the work that is yours and that is mine to focus on and make real. The work that will feel so fulfilling and joy filled and lit, and yet still, you cannot run away from the hard work that is required in your devoting to that.

The daily things, the mini action steps, the big bold leaps. All is well. Do not be afraid of surprising yourself, okay? Be proud of your efforts. Stand up tall when you dig deep.

Cultivating a rich and rewarding relationship with hard work, which is supported by self care, ruthless and loving boundaries, and a deep, delicious sense of purpose. Yeah. That truly, madly, and deeply sounds like bliss to me.

Hey, you. Have you ever given yourself permission? I'm talking real, radical, roof raising permission, to desire and create a life comprised of your dreams, to serve in a way that is uniquely you, to find your people, to spend your time, your way, and creating and circulating abundance by doing what you love.

This is your invitation to take a seat at the table of Team Bliss. We're a cohort of resilient, thrifty, ambitious of mind, sprightly of heart, women and men who are bold, visionary, and unbelievably motivated to create change. Our chosen vehicle for reaching and impacting the multitudes is doTERRA, one of the most integral and ethical brands on earth.

Every day, we empower humans with the natural solutions that essential oils provide, all whilst developing leadership in one another, guiding our communities to live debt free lives, and teaching spiritual principles that create lives of absolute abundance and limitless choice. All whilst smelling like the heavens. Oh, yes. Jasmine essential oil will do that to you.

To learn more and to join us on our mission, visit tarabliss.com.au/team-bliss. Also, you can check out episode eight of this podcast on women's autonomy.

Thank you for being here, sweet potatoes. Always and forever. Thank you. I appreciate your presence so very much. If you found value in today's conversation, please subscribe on iTunes and share this episode on your social feed of choice. I love it when you do.

I give you the hallelujah hands when you do. It's so appreciated. You can tag me anywhere at @tara_bliss. If you're feeling particularly generous today, you can leave me a review on iTunes and that will help me get these sounds of bliss in even more eardrums. So, thank you.

For show notes, resources, and updates on what I have on offer for you, jump over to tarabliss.com.au/episode13. That's episode and then the number 13. Subscribe to my notes straight to your inbox.

Have a beautiful moment, my love. Right here. Right now. Bye bye now.

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