7 March 2019

Episode 10: Q&A (Round 1)

Get your bliss notes

Sounds Like Bliss

 

Fam!

Instagram is a wonderful place. (Most of the time ;)

We get the opportunity to art direct messages that are coming through with imagery.

We get to stroke that aesthetic desire to create something beautiful.

We get to market, sell and give away our soul’s work.

And….

We get to interact with the QUESTION BOX!

So, here we are.

Every 10th episode, I’m going to honour you, your journey, where you’re at and what your curiosities are by bringing you a Q&A session! Round #1 is ready for your ears, now.

Tune in as I answer the following questions:

  • How do you get in touch with your spirituality and what does that look like?
  • What are your favourite books on the Divine Feminine?
  • How can I step up to be a leader, when all my life I’ve been a follower?
  • How can I get comfortable with receiving more than ‘enough?’ (Truthbombs, here)
  • How can I drown out the noise of my parent’s disapproval?
  • How do you stay positive in spreading the light when people are mean / unsupportive?
  • How did you heal yourself emotionally after your divorce?
  • Can you share your new love story?

Episode Resources:

  • Goddesses in Everywoman by Jean Shinoda Bolen
  • Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
  • Witch by Lisa Lister
  • Awakening Shakti by Sally Kempton
  • Red Hot & Holy by Sera Beak
  • Women Who Run With The Wolves by Dr Clarissa Pinkola Estes
  • Team Bliss - My doTERRA team

Listen & Subscribe: iTunes | Spotify | Stitcher

Thank you for being here today and tuning in, love! If you found value in today's podcast, please subscribe on iTunes and share this episode on your social feed of choice. Instagram is my digital playground, and you can tag me there at @tara_bliss. If you're feeling particularly generous today, leave me a review on iTunes. That will help this sound get into even more eardrums. Thank you so much in advance for that!

Yours in bliss,

Full Transcript

Hey, beautiful humans. Today's episode sounds like bliss because I am A-ing your Q's. That's right. It's Q&A time, my friends. Round one. You asked and I am right here ready to answer...

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Say hello to that exhale, and to those goosebumps, and to that moment of truth, or beauty, or generosity. Here we will explore struggles and celebrations and devotions, the stuff that life is made of. There will be deep thoughts, interrupted often by belly laughs because that's also how life works. Some spoken word because, you know, sometimes nothing says it quite like a poem. Conversations with friends, new and old, and soul riffs straight out of my noggin and my heart and into your headphones. I am your host, Tara, and you're listening to Sounds Like Bliss. Welcome.

Hi, hello. I'm back in the sauna. I'm back on the Gold Coast. I am in the sauna once again. I will remind you that the sauna is not turned on. I am accompanied by a beautiful warm cup of cacao even though it's basically late summer in the Gold Coast. Cacao every day, you know what I'm saying? And I have a beautiful sleeping Leila outside the sauna door. I really wish she would just come in here and sleep in my lap as I record these podcasts, but I think it's a little bit claustrophobic in here for her. She peers in. She sticks her nose in, she has a look around, and she backs off as if to say, "No, Mom. Not keen. Not gonna happen. Not legit." So that's my current situation.

Anyway, friends, welcome back. Today's a little bit of fun. Today is Q&A round one. Now, isn't Instagram a wonderful place sometimes? It's a place where we can connect with one another. We can interact. And there are many things that we can do. We can art direct messages that are coming through that we want to share. We can stroke that aesthetic desire to create something beautiful on the Gramme. Instagram is an incredibly big energetic ally of my work, particularly Rebels of Light. I'm very grateful for that platform for allowing me to market that offering of mine.

But here we are at episode 10 because I've decided that every 10th episode we're going to have a Q&A. And I would just like to extend some gratitude to Instagram for being that platform on which I can ask you a question, and you can answer me with more questions for me to answer on my podcast. It's almost convoluted except it's kind of awesome. So we're going to rock 'n roll, honeys. We're going to dive in. We have about a half a dozen questions here. I think that these half a dozen questions are relevant for round one of a Q&A, and I think that they are appropriate for the first time I'm doing this. And what I know and what I look forward to is that in the future, these questions will deepen and as too will my responses. You know what I mean? This is what's so great about this ritual that will happen every 10th episode. Let's do this.

Question number one. How do you get in touch with your spirituality, and what does that look like for you?

Hm. This is a big question and I think I could honestly spend 10 episodes on this alone, and I think it's a complex question to answer. I think it's deeply personal and unique to each of us. Of course, I will answer my approach to this, as that was the intention of the question, but whenever I have questions come to me that are about spiritual practise, or morning routines, or foods that I eat, I feel like this is a big one, I tread carefully. I tread carefully. I don't want mini me's running around out there. I want you in the fullest expression of you to be out there living your life. So as I share what works for me, it's never with the intention that you're going to do the same; it's with the intention that you will get to creating practises that mean something to you. I will especially never really speak much to how I eat because I feel like that's such dangerous territory, to be honest, in our landscape today with so much information flying around everywhere.

But as it pertains to being in touch with my spirituality, sure, let me try and unpack this a little bit for you here. So for me, spirituality, whilst my expression of that very much contains elements of ritual, routine, habits, and ceremony, there is also the aspects of it that go beyond that and enter into more territory that's kind of just about being, and living, and noticing. So if I remember that everything contains the sacred then I feel connected to my spirituality, and I will feel connected to my spirituality as often as I remember that everything is sacred. When I get a bit caught up in my own stuff, in my own emotions, in my own head, in my own contraction, when I'm in stress response, when I feel heady and out of my body, I'm not remembering that everything's sacred, and that's when I feel a sense of separation with all that is.

So for me, my spirituality is a practise of noticing and remembering. It's that difference between driving along in the car and thinking all these thoughts, and instead driving along in the car and actually noticing that I'm driving along in the car. And, "Wow, I have a body. My hands are on the steering wheel. That breeze feels really nice on my face. Oh, those lyrics in that song that I'm listening to. Ugh. Killer." You feel the different in between those energies.

Now, heads up, honeys. I am a Pisces, so I will always, always deep dive into the mystical and into, you know, I always want to touch the unknown. Like, the underworld is my jam, you know what I'm saying? So I will never just sit here in front of you and say, "Well, I meditate for this long in the morning, and I journal like this, and these are my affirmations." When I hear stuff like that, it's kind of in one ear and out the other. It just doesn't strike me at the depths that I need to be struck at to feel most alive in my particular expression. This is what I've come to know about myself. So remembering the sacred in every moment is quite a practise. I fail regularly and devastatingly, but through those values I am reminded to remember that the sacred is in everything. So let's dive into this a little bit more.

Of course, there are practises that serve me. Meditation I would say is kind of at the nucleus of my spiritual practise and I, like most meditators, will tell you that when I am committed to a regular practise, life has a different swagger about it. It just does. There is flow. It feels like the veil has been lifted between this world and other worlds. It feels like intuition is on tap. It feels like there's an inner knowing that everything's going to be okay. It feels like I can create at will almost at the snap of a finger. It feels like I am deeply empathetic and connected to the people that I love and care about. It feels like I can see through people's stories, and feel and sense the hearts of them and what's really going on in the situation. I mean, all of these are quite excellent ideas to meditate, you know what I'm saying?

So I won't really go into ... because there are different modalities of meditation. But for me, here's the thing: My meditations are creative. And what I mean by that is I self-administer the medicine that is meditation and I tailor that dosage depending on what I need. And now, if I want to have some type of sense about what I need, then I need to be in a state of self-inquiry, which is to say noticing myself, which is to say connected to my spirituality.

So if I feel overwhelmed, then when I self-administer my medicine, which in this case is meditation, I will go into a creative meditation in which I am doing what needs to be done to mitigate that overwhelm, okay? So maybe I'm running some energy hygiene practises. Maybe I'm restoring my solar plexus energy there. Maybe I'm visualising, and sensing, and watching myself say no to any other opportunities that are coming my way, and instead feeling a sense of a revitalised sense of energy restoring me. That's just an example off the top of my head.

Let's say I have a relationship that's challenging me. Then the medicine that I will self-administer through meditation is me coming into right relationship with that person, going beyond the humanness, and the words, and the tension, and the arguments, and actually sensing into the love that's there and reconciling it on a soul level.

So maybe I am just in full-on creation mode in my meditation. Maybe I am totally creating where I want to go and what I want to do. Maybe the medicine that I need on any given day is utter presence. Nothing but the breath. There is no past. There is no future. I just need to be right here, right now.

So I think that my spiritual practise in terms of meditation has evolved over the years. I have been a student of many modalities, Vipassana meditation, kundalini yoga. I've done a lot of work on the chakras. I've had spiritual mentors for years. And so right now, what I have is a kaleidoscopic all you can eat buffet, which can be overwhelming. So then I need to activate my sovereignty, and everyday choose what I need. What medicine does my soul call for today? So that's my way of answering that question.

And then relationships are another way that I am reminded of the sacredness of this life. Relationships are another way that I feel really connected to that which is spiritual, which is to say that which is, gosh, subtle, all-pervading, beyond form, beyond time and space. So one of the most spiritual relationships I have in my life are those that I have with my businesses, with the different aspects of my businesses. If you've been watching along and following my journey this last month, you will see that Rebels of Light brought me to my knees. She brought me to tears constantly on the Gramme, on Instagram, and that's because I was in a very powerful relationship with her throughout that launch.

So, no, my business is not a series of to-do lists. My business is not just a pile of Post-its scattered around my room. It's not just stuff that I've thrown up on my vision board. My businesses are beings in my life that I relate to, and that I take instruction from, and that I must nurture and water to keep that intimacy alive so that I can serve them, and so that they can serve me because it's reciprocal, you know?

I feel connected to my spirituality when I'm with my girlfriends and we're just laughing, like ugly-laughing, like laughing so hard, and it's something that's like so not spiritual. I feel so lit up then. I feel really connected to that which is the sacred as I witness myself and my beloved rise in love. What a trip. What a trip.

What else? When it comes to practically creating room and space in my life to connect with the sacred, which is to say, you know, maybe I'm preparing my space to sit and connect, or maybe I'm preparing my schedule, or maybe I'm preparing my resources so that I'm controlling my environment in such a way where I can honour that and I can sit with that, then that is under the understanding that I too am the sacred. I see a lot of us displace our power in the pursuit of spirituality, and we're forgetting all along that we are cut from the same cloth as that thing that we are chasing.

So for me, this work is divine and glorious, but it's also very simple, and it's unfancy, and it's unglamorous. I sit down. I close my eyes. I run whatever practise I need for that day. I claim my power. And most people are not willing to do that. Most people are not willing to spend 30 minutes a day doing that. And that's okay. But I choose to do that, and it creates the most epic momentum in my life.

Now, I won't go into that anymore because, to be honest, I created a whole nine-month programme on using the energy of rebellion to create new life, and we do this through closed-eye process a lot. And that's called Rebels of Light. And it's closed now, so you gon' have to wait.

I guess I will sum all this up by saying, to me, spiritual practise is about noticing yourself in your life. Witnessing, bearing witness to yourself in your life, and all the things that create the ecology of your life. And when you do that, you're able to notice the small things. And I find that the small things hold the most power.

Question number two. Best books on divine feminine, women's circles, or connecting with a sisterhood.

So I won't really speak to women's circles or connecting with a sisterhood, but I will speak to some of my favourite resources on the divine feminine. I will put these in the show notes too, so no need to reach for pen and paper. But there's a beautiful book called Goddesses in Everywoman by Jean Shinoda Bolen. I love this book so much. She's a psychologist. And in it, she explains so beautifully how these Roman goddesses, I believe Greek or Roman, how their qualities and attributes are so alive in us. I remember reading this book years and years ago, and I really felt connected to Artemis and Aphrodite. And I think when we tap into the archetypal nature of the feminine, what's so beautiful about this is we don't need to worship figures outside of us because all of these archetypes and these myths, legends, goddesses, they point to what is already within us. So this book was absolutely fantastic. I would recommend it for every woman. Goddesses in Everywoman.

Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer was divine. And when I think about the divine feminine, first and foremost what I think about is our great mother, Mama Gaia, the absolute epitome of feminine nurturer. And this book, whilst certainly not talking about the divine feminine, speaks to the divine love inherent in our earth. And as I read this book with tears streaming down my eyes, my face rather, I earned this new reverence for our planet, and the dirt beneath our feet, and the trees that help us to breathe. She's an ecologist and she also has Native American roots, so she blends this world of spirit and science so magnificently, coming at it from both angles. Divine.

Next up is Witch by Lisa Lister. I read this book soon after ending my last relationship, and I really appreciated it because it was about this time also that I was exploring my lineage through MyHeritage.com, and certainly tracing some of those roots back to England. And I felt really connected to my lineage in this book, particularly as a huge part of my business is selling essential oils. I feel like there's this huge reclamation piece there about being a woman in the world, sharing, educating humanity on earth medicine. We are safe to do that these days, but hundreds of years ago, our ancestors, women who were doing what I'm doing today, their lives were at risk. They really were. So to me, this book, it really ... It shook me, and it woke me up, and it really was an answer to a prayer. I was looking to connect in with my power in a new way, and I just loved the fire that Lisa brings to this book. I listened to the audio version and I really loved hearing her spit fire throughout that.

Awakening Shakti is a beautiful audible series from Sally Kempton. I loved this so much. In it, she speaks to the Hindu goddesses, and I just froth. So coming into yoga years and years ago, really my first introduction to the goddess was through Hindu goddesses. And her passion here, her reverence for this lineage, is really, really beautiful. Again, I love her voice. I love her delivery. I love her wisdom. She is in her dharma. And I think whenever we hear people in their dharma, it really reaches into us and touches us.

So I've got two more for you. One is Red Hot and Holy by Sera Beak. It is just saucy and sexy and hot, and you gotta read it. So good. So good. I love reading woman in their power like this.

And last but not least, I mean it kind of goes without saying, but Women who Run with the Wolves by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes. Epic. Epic beyond epic. And I think if I were to give you any advice when it comes to this book is really, really try not to read this one from start to finish. I have had this book for four or five years and I've not even half-finished it. I will often ... what I will do is I will read one of the stories in the book and then I'll let that story sit with me for five or six months because, again, it's got this archetypal power behind it. It's huge on symbolism. It's huge on metaphor. And if you take your time throughout that book, and you allow these stories and its messaging to come alive in your body in your life, they have so many gifts to give you. Juicy. Juicy. Juicy.

Next up. How can I step up to be a leader in doTERRA when all my life, I've been a follower?

So I would rephrase this question because I know we've got a vast audience. We can even take doTERRA out of that and let's say, "How can I step up to be a leader when all my life, I've been a follower?" First of all, thank you for asking this question. I really appreciate this vulnerability here. I thought a lot, "How do I tackle this, you know? I've got five minutes to address this perhaps on a podcast. How can I penetrate you in a way here, that can be useful to you?"

And I think the first thing that I want to dive into is that these stories that we have in our bodies, of ourselves, these narratives that we subscribe to almost as though they're facts, are simply a collection of the multitude of times that we have thought thoughts about ourselves. So sometimes we can think a thought so much about ourselves that we just think that this is the truth, that this is factual now. But in reality, what's probably happened is that we could a think of thought or we could perceive ourself in a certain way, and then we continue to perpetuate that in our mind through our self-commentary, which oftentimes we don't even know is there, until all of a sudden we find ourselves one day saying, "I'm a follower. I'm not a leader." And here it is. I mean, that has to stop now. That commentary has to stop now, especially and epically, if you intend on changing that. If you would like to access and embody more of this leadership energy in your life, that story has to stop now, my darling.

Now, practically there's probably something that you can do. It would be really useful to you to have a look at that thought and all of the thoughts that accompany that. So as I was thinking about this, I imagined you pulling out pen and paper and making yourself a cup of tea, or whatever your poison is, and sitting there in reverence to yourself. And really setting that intention that you're about to deep dive into the caverns of your mind, and you're going mining. You're going mining for all the turd burgers that are in your mind, all the non-serving thoughts that are inhabiting your life. So you take a look at all the thoughts and the memories that have created this story that you're not a leader, that you're follower, and you write them all down. And you write down all the thoughts that accompany those thoughts.

So you'll find often that certain thoughts are attached to other thoughts, and then that opens up another gateway, and then another gateway, and another gateway. And I think just getting all of that down on paper gives you some space, and some distance, and some context to be able to say, "Oh, okay. Well, I think I'm a follower because I've thought these thoughts all my life." And then there's some separation there, a healthy separation, where it's not "I am a follower because I am." It's "I think I am a follower because all my life I have invested in shitty thoughts like this."

Now, that's not to say that you haven't had circumstances which cooperate with these thoughts because I'm sure there are, but looking at these thoughts first and foremost, now your posed with a great assignment, and that's to look at each one of those thoughts and to choose again. Choose again. And this requires practise. We need to be practised in pursuit of the future that we want to create for ourselves and of ourselves.

So after choosing again, after looking at all of those thoughts, your question is "Well, what other thoughts do I want to choose here?" You would write those down next to those thoughts, and then you would just try them on everyday. Try them on. And it will feel really weird and really fraudulent for a while. Whatever. You've just got to keep doing it, I'm afraid. I've heard many times recently you can't look elegant and learn something new at the same time. So if this feels uncomfortable, kudos. Pat on the back. You are doing something right.

I also think it's really important ... so there's this one aspect that we do where we look at examining the thoughts that are creating those types of results in our lives, whether that's an emotional state or a physical result. But then there's also a responsibility that we have to somewhat adjust our environment to support the new path that we want to take. And so what I'm thinking about right now is breaking the pattern of followship. So it's one thing for you to be inspired, but it is another to de-crown your power altogether.

So this is where, if I were you, I would consider a detox, a followship detox, a decluttering of your feed. If you know you are a follower, or if you think that you have always been a follower, then I would be looking to alter your environment so that you can protect yourself from slipping into that vortex. So for me, my Instagram feed it's sub-100. It's just a decision that I made recently. I cannot say that I want to be a creator whilst consuming everyone else's stuff. And hundreds or thousands of people's stuff and opinions in your face and in your feed all day long, I mean, is that supporting you? Or is that perpetuating the story that you've always been a follower?

And now when it comes to doTERRA, I often say to leaders on my team, "I want you to unfollow everyone who's doing doTERRA, including me." Because we get so penetrated by everyone else's voices and the way that they do it, that we lose our own flavour. So if you need to do a detox for a while, do that, sister. Declutter your feed. Wipe your Facebook friend list clean.

And how people feel about that is their business, you know? We can't control if other people are hurt by that decision of ours. It is not life or death; it is literally you deciding what content you're going to consume every day. And you have the right to do that. You really do.

Next. Let's talk a little bit about leading yourself. So build a bridge for yourself here. I think that so often we feel like we need to jump from me believing that I've always been a follower to being the world's greatest leader, and it just kind of doesn't happen like that. There's this bridge that you need to build yourself, and that bridge is built brick by brick through self-compassion, self-tenderness, you having a look at those thoughts and choosing again, and also through, again, the unglamorous but truly glorious work of leading yourself.

One of the most powerful ways that you can lead yourself is to lead your attention. So where is your attention going? Because if you want to be a great leader, but you don't know how to prioritise what's important in your life, or if you're constantly under the curse of distraction, or you have trouble staying present with someone because you want to check your phone all the time. This is the stuff I'm talking about. Lead your attention. Have that be a little assignment over the next three to four weeks. How present can you be in your life? Are you taking care of your body? Are you taking care of your emotional well-being? Are you laughing? Are you getting the soul medicine that you need? Because when you are, your energy will do a lot of the talking in terms of leadership. That I can promise you.

Remember that you are never required to lead like another, so we all must be disciplined enough to leave comparison at the door. And I'm telling you that that is a discipline. It is a discipline to feel that comparison, show up in your body, you feel it rumble throughout every nucleus of every cell in your being, and you have to be strong enough to lay that down because it's enticing, and it's seductive, and it's contagious. You have to be willing to lay it down. This is why a digital detox is so important.

And finally, my thoughts on this are leadership skills come from being in the arena, as Brene Brown would say, but they do not come from looking at other people in it. So we can watch people lead until we are blue in the face. That's not going to do anything in terms of evolving the leader within us. Leadership is a very loaded word. The face of it and the meaning behind it is changing a lot at the moment. I feel like we're going from more of a hierarchical leadership model to one that's certainly a lot more collaborative, but that's only catching on in certain circles.

So we need to dive in. We need to dive in. We need to be willing ... Going back to episode one of the podcast, it's like we need to be willing to fumble around and bruise our knees. And we will never fumble around and bruise our knees, which is to say that we will never grow into the leaders that we're meant to be, if we're just sitting around watching everyone else on Facebook, and Instagram, and whatever other platform you've got, lead, and be in their zone of genius. It's not going to happen. Do a digital detox. Get in the arena. Rumble around. Get dirty. Get filthy in there. And come out more radiant than ever.

I love this next question. How do we receive more than enough?

Now, this question came from someone on my doTERRA team, and I know that this came from them because oftentimes in my communication with my community, I am relentlessly and lovingly encouraging people to remain committed to their why, and to their goals, so that they can transform their life and go beyond, finally, go beyond having enough. Quite a controversial topic, especially when having enough, or the whole less-is-more movement, which, by the way, in so many realms I'm so down for. But this whole idea of enough can be really romanticised. And I feel, actually, that that whole idea of enough is as romanticised as this whole idea of too much being demonised and yet desired at the same time. That's what's so weird about having more than enough. People want to judge people who have more than enough, and yet they so want it. There's this weird tension there that I think gets us out of alignment.

But anyway, let's go back to the topic. So how do you receive more than enough? Well, first of all, let me speak to the importance of why I believe, in this day and age, if you're listening to this podcast, which means that you have some pretty epic resources on hand. You have a smart phone most likely, you have headphones, and that points to a certain level of privilege in your life, doesn't it? I mean, it really does. And so what I'm interested in for those of us who have this privilege to go beyond enough, I am urging you to do that. Because if you stay within the realm of just having enough, are you really ever able to go beyond yourself? Are we ever then able to offer a hand up to minority groups who have been oppressed? Who have been shunned? Who are still being silenced? Often by us, the very ones that are benefiting from this system that oppresses them? So I'm incredibly interested myself in going beyond enough, more than enough, and helping as many people as I can to reach that too.

So once we have that, once we go past that threshold of "Okay, I'm able to meet my survival needs." So once we go beyond that, then we can go on to thriving. And I believe that once we are thriving, we can distribute far, far beyond ourselves and touch the multitudes. So it's not selfish to desire, or even require more, if that's what's in alignment with you and your incarnation. I spoke last episode about, for me, in this incarnation, I know that I need to be visible, and I know that I need to make some noise. And it's really not always comfortable for me, guys. I am such a hermit. I could just so easily create a library out of my home, and research astrology and write poems until I am an old grey lady, but I know that I would be betraying my soul. I need to be making noise out there. I need to be in front of people. And so for some of you, you will know that you need to create a lot of abundance in your life. And that is certainly true for me.

So I want to explore this middle ground between enough and too much. I want us to explore the fact that both of those pathways are, again, stories that we've created, and I want to ask you that what is actually possible. And many of you listening, you may not even know what's possible beyond enough, and this is really evident for me when I'm chatting to people who are coming on board as a business builder in doTERRA, and I chat to them about money. And as soon as I do it, the energy contracts. And that's why I just keep pushing it and I keep pushing it and I keep going there because women, especially, we are so conditioned to give, and to love, and to just have enough.

And oftentimes, when I ask women to have a look at our compensation plan and to choose an income that they would love to shoot for, oftentimes what they do is they stop at one of our ranks called gold. Now, gold is about $60,000 a year. And I always find that really interesting because that's kind of an average income, right? "I'm allowed to earn that much. Anything more than that? Selfish. How dare I earn six figures. Or seven? Get out of town. Not me." This is what I hear. It's not always what they say, but this is what their body language says. And that is the conditioning of someone who is stuck in their own life, in their own lineage. And I want to encourage you to think more futuristically.

So last month alone, last month alone, I circulated $40,000 into three nonprofits on behalf of our 2018 Rebels of Light. And this year, we will close to double that. If I didn't set myself big goals for that in my community, then that $40,000, it would still exist somewhere out there in the world, but never in that capacity, and it would never have ended up in the hands of these nonprofits. Now, I don't tell you this to brag or gloat at all because I'm under no obligation to tell anybody where I circulate the abundance that comes in through my business. However, I do feel a responsibility to educate my community on what is possible with great abundance. And so I will continue to share where we circulate, and how often and how much, as a community service and as an example. As an example. Because I think this is really important. I do not want pats on the back. I do not want a round of applause. In fact, save it because it's not about me. And this is exactly the thing.

When we have enough, it's about us. If I just had enough, it would be about me. "Can I pay my bills this month? Can I feed myself?" When we go beyond that, it's "Who can I feed? Who can I sponsor? Who can I give light to? Who can we elevate?" Right? So it's not about me; it's about the people that we can serve. So creating the abundance or going beyond enough, for me, again, I'll give you some personal examples, but this allows me to create exceptional experiences for people in my life. So this is another way that I choose to circulate my abundance, is really amazing events coordinated by my girl, Casey.And the reason that I choose to do that is because an amazing event that's curated beautifully and lovingly could be the event or the evening that changes one person's life forever.

I'm thinking about someone who's just started building a business. They're shy. They don't know anyone. They're feeling really shaky. They come along to an evening. They have so much fun. They're surrounded by like-minded people. And I can just give them two minutes of my time, looking in their eyes, listening to their story, thanking them for being here. And that two minutes, combined with that beautiful curated event, could be the thing that ignites that woman so brightly that in two years time, she comes back and says, "Tara, I'm earning six figures now. I've completely changed my family's life. These are my family's goals. This is what we're working towards. This is what we want to impact in the world." So go beyond yourself, honeys.

And again, for some of you this won't be part of your incarnation, so this will be in one ear and out the other, and I honour you for that because your only responsibility is to your incarnation. But I'm really interested in going beyond us because that means that A) we can thrive and B) we can now play a critical role in helping others to thrive because your basic needs are more than met, and now you are truly living in the overflow. And honeys, I will always be a voice for this. Always. Unapologetically.

Having more than enough does not mean that your life needs to be noisy. It does not mean that everything needs to be bigger, and better, and bolder. No. It can mean that life becomes more simple, more spacious, more succulent, more hygge. It could mean that you work smarter rather than harder. The how is up to you, but I will always be a voice for everyone listening to this podcast going beyond enough.

And now you're thinking, "How? Well, how do I do that?" And you build a doTERRA business. That's how. I mean, look. You could spend years building an online brand. You could go to university. You could self-study. You could start a blog, and blog for years until you had an audience that was big enough to sell to. Or you could start a doTERRA business.

So the original question is "How do we receive more than enough?" And this ties back really beautifully to the first question about spiritual practise. If you are someone who is really triggered by the idea of having more than you need, then I think these qualities of receivership and receptivity need to become a part of your spiritual practise. So when you're in meditation, you know, going back to that original conversation of "What medicine do I need to offer myself today?" And if I were in your shoes, I would say, "I need to become more well-rehearsed in the energy of receivership."

So I would sit there in my meditation, and I would see myself and my energy field receiving more, and then recalibrating to that altitude. And then receiving more, and not necessarily money, but life force, gratitude, groundedness from the earth, cash flow, optimism, radiance. I would see myself just receiving, and then acclimatising. And then receiving more, and then acclimatising. And then receiving more, and then acclimatising. And then watching that overflow spill out into the places in which I would like to circulate it. I think that you can definitely bring that into your spiritual practise. I hope that helps.

Next question. How to stop hearing your parents' voice of disapproval for wanting to live life authentically?

My darling, you drown out their noise with your living because you're doing this with or without their approval, right? The question here is not how to stop hearing your parents' voice of disapproval, but it is how to go on living without even needing it. And the way that you do that is you just ... you don't need to drown out that voice or that noise of theirs by making more noise yourself or by justifying your behaviour. Just carry on living. Live your life and let your living do the talking. Let your living be the breathing demonstration of what you being authentic is, okay?

Oh, how our lives would change if we just put down the burden of wanting other people's approval. Allow them to disapprove. How much might your world change if you actually allowed people to disapprove? That's what I'm more interested in. Not "How can I convince them? How can I get rid of this noise?" but "How can I be at peace with the fact that not everyone's going to like what I do? Not everyone's going to get me, or understand, or support me." That's power there. That's freedom.

And so related to this question is the next one. How do you stay positive and share light with people who are mean to you?

So my responsibility is to my own incarnation, not theirs, okay? No one can make me feel anything but me, and the same is true for you. And so in light of this question, "How do you stay positive when people are mean to you?" I mean, the first question that I want to ask is are they being mean? Are they being mean, or are they simply in opposition to your beliefs? Are they being mean, or are they challenging you? Are they being mean, or are they not meeting your expectations? So I think take on this assignments for your growth, love. We cannot control anyone's response to what we do, but you cannot drink the poison of their responses and reactions.

What will you do in the face of meanness? Will you shrink? Will you stop taking up space? Will you go silent? Or do you allow that person to carry on having their own experience so that you can carry on creating yours? Because we are not perfect all the time. Sometimes we are mean to people. Sometimes we judge people. It's really important to remember that. Just don't let this stop you because if you do, that's on you. That's not on them; it's on you.

Let's wrap up with a few quickies. How did you heal yourself emotionally after your divorce?

So the details of this will always remain sacred, but I will say here that I let my pain and my grief absolutely roar throughout my body. My guilt, my anger, my sadness, but especially my guilt, it just took over. And I let it. And I let it ravage me. And I created a safe space for myself to feel this. And whilst it was so painful, I was also cognisant that it was so healing and so liberating. I remember feeling really proud of myself at how often I would just let the tears flow, and how I would just drop everything and go into a state of being and feeling with it.

I had a really beautiful network of people around me and I called on them when I needed them, but I also let them know when I needed space because I really believe that I just needed space to feel and to process. But when they were there, I called on them. I wasn't afraid to say, "Can I see you? Can you come around for the night?"

And then my own poetry pulled me through and enabled me to alchemise grief into art. And my own poetry helped me see the archetypal mystery of pain and beauty of it. Poetry like this: I still remember the heat in my body that morning I woke. I was furious for women everywhere. I hated all the ways we betrayed ourselves, how we dampened ourselves with naivete, how locked our jaws had become under the the pressure of concealing truths. Red-hot rage ran laps in my veins. And if you dare, you lift the veil. And it takes months until the forest fire settles into flames that can warm a heart rather than burn one. I do not want to become ash, but I do want to be warm. And I am. And my joints aren't locked anymore. Rage, she waves for me at a distance, feeling complete with her efforts for now.

Next question. Please, will you share your new love story?

I knew someone would ask this. And I can feel myself want to tell you everything, how it came into being, the magic of it, how unexpected and yet totally conjured it was. I want to scream it from every rooftop in every city all over the world. But I won't. There is a privacy, and a sacredness, and a sanctity to this. And it feels mine. And this is new for me, and it's new to me, but for now this love is tucked away. For the most part tucked away. Here I am talking about it. The irony. But it feels cosmic, and multidimensional, and very same breath, it's incredibly down to earth. But please know that I have never been better. I've never been better.

And finally, and this is just a little bit fun, if you were a colour, Tara, what colour would you be?

Well, I would either be that beautiful, incomparable, turquoisey, ocean blue, aquay, greeny, yummy, you-know-what-I'm-talking-about colour. Or I would be the stinkiest mustard yellow colour. Like the more velvet, and textural, and baby-poo coloured, mustardy, yellowy colour, the better. I froth on that. It's my fave.

So, my loves, thank you for submitting your questions for me to explore with you on this platform. This was fun. I enjoyed it. I hope you did too. Q&A sessions with you every 10 episodes, huh? Yeah. That sounds like bliss to me.

Hey, you. Have you ever given yourself permission? I'm talking real, radical, roof-raising permission to desire and create a life comprised of your dreams, to serve in a way that is uniquely you, to find your people, to spend your time your way in creating and circulating abundance by doing what you love. Hm. This is your invitation to take a seat at the table of Team Bliss. We are a cohort of resilient, thrifty, ambitious-of-mind, sprightly-of-heart women and men who are bold, visionary, and unbelievably motivated to create change.

And our chosen vehicle for reaching and impacting the multitudes is doTERRA, one of the most integral and ethical brands on earth. Every day we empower humans with the natural solutions that essential oils provide, all whilst developing leadership in one another, guiding our communities to live debt-free lives, and teaching spiritual principles that create lives of absolute abundance and limitless choice, all whilst smelling like the heavens. Oh yes, jasmine essential oil will do that to you. To learn more and to join us on our mission, visit tarabliss.com.au/team–bliss. Also, you can check out episode eight of this podcast on women's autonomy.

Friends, thank you for being here and tuning in today. I always appreciate your presence. If you found value in today's podcast, please subscribe on iTunes and share this episode on your social feed of choice. You all know by now, Instagram, she's my digital playground, and you can tag me there at tara_bliss. If you're feeling particularly generous, go on, leave a review on iTunes. This will help get these sounds into even more eardrums. Big thank you in advance for that.

For show notes, resources, and updates on what I have on offer for you, jump on over to tarabliss.com.au/episode10. That's "episode" and then the number "10." And subscribe to my notes straight to your inbox. Have a beautiful moment right here and right now. Buh-bye now.

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4 comments

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    • 8 March 2019

      Dear Tara,

      Wow....you blew my heart and soul wide open yesterday. I listened to the last two episodes in a row; the Q&A and the gift in your notes app.
      So many things are speaking to me....for one, I am fighting to keep my marriage alive. This fight has been going on for about 5 years and I ask myself, if I didn’t have two beautiful boys with this man, would I still be with him. There is a lot of awakening happening in me, in my soul and in my life. You see, dōTERRA is launching later this year in South Africa and with this, I will reclaim my female autonomy. I’ve been financially dependent on my husband for the last 10 years mindfully raising our boys.
      I could go on and on, telling you about my story, but I’ll stop here. Please know the beauty and soul of your words truly sound like Bliss to me. You rock sista. Big Love.

      • tarabliss
        22 March 2019

        Beautiful, brave woman. xo

    • Kirsty
      21 March 2019

      LOVing these podcasts. Balled my eyes out last night. It’s just the medicine I need sometimes

      • tarabliss
        22 March 2019

        So glad you're enjoying them honey. Thank you xo

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