8 April 2014

Coulda Woulda Shoulda: Rising Above Regret.

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By now, you'd be forgiven for thinking I'm a little scattered.

Just a few weeks ago, I was all up in your grill, driving a home a message to slow down in the face of the habitual PUSH across the finish line.

You know that feeling well. Your body is tired. Your mind, frazzled. It feels as though your swimming upstream with a dislocated shoulder and lungs full of snotty goop - and yet - there's a manipulative little voice that lingers somewhere in the caves of your mind doing its best to convince you that if you just push a little harder, if you just grit your teeth and forge forward, everything's gonna be okay.

Even writing that sentence made me feel... meh.

But let's get one thing straight before we move on. There's a huge difference between honouring your body (your greatest messenger of all) and down and out procrastination. Laziness. Couldn't be bothered-ness.

Just as there are times that call for us to press gently on the brakes, ease the hell up, pause and regain our bearings, there's also those sweet-assed moments, days, weeks, months that demand we tighten our shoelaces and take charge.

I want to talk about that energy today, and how powerful and truly creative it is to align with it, harness it and cultivate it from within.

If you've ever suffered from Coulda Woulda Shoulda sydrome, this week's video is for you.

:: If you've beaten yourself up about not hitting a certain mark by age 30...

:: If you're still trying to swallow down the bitter ash of regret...

:: If you're still dipping your toes in and out of that swamp of Comparisonitis...

Do yourself a favour and click play.

Now, just a warning: this video is about 12 minutes long, but truth be told, it's one of my favourites and I think you'll love it, so please don't skip it. If you're short on time, I've included an audio version that's ripe for downloading to your smart phone. This is one you'll want to refer back to time and time again (complete with a love-laden smackdown). :)

Download the audio here. Right click > save as.

Here's a reminder of those steps mentioned in the video:

:: Acceptance = crucial and healing. You coulda woulda shoulda maybe might've. But you didn't, and you haven't, and here you are. This rocks.

:: We're creative, energetic beings. We call into our life more of what we already are, not more of what we want.

:: Shift your focus. A simple reframe from 'This isn't what I want' to 'What's possible for me?' is a goodie.

:: Set up a consistent, indulgent visualisation practice that allows you to cultivate your desires within.

:: Ask yourself: 'Why is my current situation perfect?' Take it a step further and WANT WHAT YOU HAVE.

:: Ask yourself: 'What's stopping me from getting what I want?'

:: Dive deeper. 'What's stopping me from getting what I want, that I can control?'

:: Move your body. Quit sitting on the fence. Shuffle in the direction of your dreams. Get goin'!

:: Let's quit it with the Time Game. Any limiting idea you've ever learnet about time – I should be married with kids by 30, retired by 60, successful by 40 – burn it. BURN. IT.

I hope this message found you at just the right time. A thousand thank you's for being here, reading this, viewing this. Means the world to me.

Now, I'd love you to share an insight or two in the comments below. Tell me: what's been holding you back that you CAN control, and what ACTION are you going to take to proactively rearrange your life? I bloody can't wait to read your responses!

All shares appreciated and loved, also. Always.

PS: I've entered my first blogging competition of sorts. I'm not going to lie, it's a little weird nominating yourself for an award, but what the heck? If you feel compelled, I'd love you to throw a vote my way. You can do that by clicking on the big blue button in my sidebar, and searching for Such Different Skies. You can vote for a number of your favourite bloggers, too! Thank you.

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    • 8 April 2014

      LOVE this vid, Tara! It's so easy to slip out of positive manifestation mode into victim mode (well, it is for me anyhow). Great reminder. P.S. You rock on video :D xx

      • Tara
        9 April 2014

        Haha! Thank you babe. A little bit of bright orange goes a long way in upping the ROCK factor, I think. xo

    • 8 April 2014

      I freaking LOVE this babe. (especially the loving smack downs). xo

      • Tara
        9 April 2014

        Thank you beautiful xo

    • 8 April 2014

      Aaaarrrgggghh. Tell it like it is. LOVE this to the balls and back!

      • Tara
        9 April 2014

        Balls deep in love xo

    • Jen
      8 April 2014

      I've been here way too many times, in a stupid cycle ever since I can remember.. I have everything it takes to do what I want to do, but fear paralyses me. Fear of myself, capabilities, failure, reputation, being able to deliver/follow through/finish, articulate my ideas... and, whenever I have sought help for this I am left feeling even more pathetic, as though I am a selfish girl, worried about nothing, just 'get on with it'..
      I am creating now. I'm becoming able to turn my back on the fear (I visualise myself actually turning my back on it) and I turn toward the 'doing' - whether it's obligatory, choice, creative 'to-do list', whatever the day brings. But it is action of some sort. It is organised, positive and 'new habit' forming creative action. This is hardest to do on the days I feel I spiral down again, but I've made a commitment to myself that everyday means some kind of action of the 'me' I know I am, so that I don't wake up at 50 and get a fright that I've let life fritter away 'sitting on the fence'... Fantastic, awesome video Such Different Tara. I will be listening again. X

      • Tara
        9 April 2014

        This is bloody awesome honey. One thing I want you to know, is that it doesn't matter how many times you've been here in the past - we all have an opportunity to re-condition our behaviours and mind sets. In this way (and with this approach), we dissolve the 'difficulty' in life, and instead welcome EVERYTHING as an opportunity to take inspired action. Now is the time, eh? :) xo

    • Clare
      8 April 2014

      Thank you Tara, I loved this! Thanks for making my lunch break so much more lovely :)

      • Tara
        9 April 2014

        Any time!

    • 8 April 2014

      Tara YOU ROCK SISTA! This video was amazeballs. So many gorgeous nuggets of wisdom, truth and beauty. I wrote down why my life is already perfect and before I knew it, I had so many words on the page. Bliss.
      P.S. I love when you said “you have to MOVE GIRL!”
      Thanks for sharing this video and post x

      • Tara
        9 April 2014

        Ahhhh... this comment gave me goosies! Thank you sweet gorgeous lady for contributing this. Love that these words and insights and propel you forward :) xo

    • 8 April 2014

      Whoa lady what powerful stuff! So many parts of it moved me to tears - I love the whole 'imagine how getting what you want will make you feel'

      Ahhh and 'how is my situation perfect' - I have been looking on the bright side and being optimistic but listing the ways my situation is perfect sits so nicely and makes me feel so content with where I am at right now!

      Thanks again for an amazing, thought provoking video!

      • Tara
        9 April 2014

        Oh babe! So glad it struck a chord :) Thank you for your lovely comment Jazzie xo

    • 8 April 2014

      Great video Tara! I love your thoughts on creativity - that we're all creative energy, one and the same.
      Thanks for the kick up the bum re action, too. This is still the biggest lesson I have to learn - letting go of resistance and actually moving ahead to make things happen.
      Thank you xx

      • Tara
        9 April 2014

        Welcome as ever, Hayley. Thank YOU xo

    • 8 April 2014

      Wow my darling- this is big, big stuff. We ARE creative beings. Huge lump in my throat listening to you, beautiful.


      Thank you my lovely- xx

      • Tara
        9 April 2014

        Love you xo

    • Kate
      8 April 2014

      Thanks Tara. This one cracked my heart open. xoxo

      • Tara
        9 April 2014

        Hooray! A love a cracked heart! xo

    • 8 April 2014

      Oh man. How do you keep doing this, Tara? Ever post you make hits me straight in the gut and makes me go YES! I can do this. I can make things happen. I'm going to do it. Thank you so much.

      • Tara
        9 April 2014

        Haven't you heard? I'm a magical little elf! haha You are so, so welcome xo

    • Katie
      9 April 2014

      Yep! I am so glad I came across your blog when I did. I think you're my soul sister from another hemisphere. ;) Your words and commitment are hitting me on such a deep level. I am feeling a shift.

      • Tara
        9 April 2014

        :D I'm glad you came across this blog, too! Your support has been felt and noticed, Katie. Thank you for everything. To deepening shifts... xo

    • Lyndsey
      9 April 2014

      Are you one of the little elves living in my mind, building the should have, would have, could have towns? This post is amazing and hit me so close to home...too close to home. For the past 3 years I have been doing the I am almost 30 game, I am not where I thought I would be, I am not doing what I thought I would be, time is running out and I will never reach my dreams and aspirations.....bullshit crap! I am in the process of throwing that all out the window, digging deep into myself, saying yes to my dreams and screw it to the “clock game”, accepting my life for where it is in this present moment and taking action (like you said “every decision needs to be paired with action) where I want change. Because that is all you have is this moment in time and I don’t want to dwell on the past or the what if’s anymore; I want to be free of past thoughts and happy in the now, shaping my dreams with actions.
      I adore you and this message and I know I will listen to this many many more times...it is just perfect! Thank you so much for always bringing such light and inspiration!

      • Tara
        9 April 2014

        Why yes, I AM one of those little elves! Haha :P

        I adore you right back sister. You know what to do now. You know what not to listen to you. Go pluck that life of yours that's ripe for the picking xo

    • Hannah
      9 April 2014

      I LOVE this post.

      This is just what i needed to hear today!

      Thank you so much Tara xx

      • Tara
        9 April 2014

        You're welcome Hannah!

    • Michelle Jack
      9 April 2014

      I absolutely LOVE this video! What a great reminder/wake up call! Thanks so much!!!! I can already feel a different energy inside of me.
      Sending so much love and light back to you Lady Tara!! xxxx

      • Tara
        9 April 2014

        Well THIS is awesome: 'I can already feel a different energy inside of me.' I LOVE that. Thank you lady xo

    • 9 April 2014

      LOVE IT, beautiful girl! You absolutely smashed it with this one!

    • 9 April 2014

      Tara - fantastic video! As always, full of such light and love and wisdom :) You rock!!

    • 9 April 2014

      Loved this Tara! You had me after "you coulda, shoulda,woulda, might've. WELL YA DIDNT"
      Very inspiring and just what I needed tonight. The reminder that wishing and wanting isn't enough. The reminder that small actions and large actions are needed.
      Love your work.

    • Alexia Chuan
      9 April 2014

      I friggin' love this video! Okay, so i'm not 30 nor 27. I'm just 21. But I always forget to follow my heart. Thank you so much for your timely video :) It was such an amazing reminder to me that this is my life and i am in control of how i want it to be. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

    • 10 April 2014


    • Kaitlyn
      11 April 2014

      Absolutely love your blog and this video has come to me at such a good time (thank you angels!)
      Thank you Tara for bringing this message :) Also I love your set up, all the rose quartz brings warm fuzzies to my heart!

      love and blessings,


    • 11 April 2014

      You always know how to talk right to the heart lady! Xo

    • Belinda
      2 May 2014

      Tara.... I just came across this video at the right time! I've been looking for a bit of direction on a few things and I think you just served it up in 12 minutes!! Thank you so much for creating this... Thank you for being so inspiring :) xxx

    • 14 May 2014

      Oh Tara.... Jesus you.are.awesome. This video might just be my favourite of all and that's a huge statement to make because every single one is crazy good. 'We call into life what we already are'. Thank you for the reminder and the loving smack down ;) I love that we are all artists essentially painting the life we want to live. It's looking might fine from here xx

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