15 December 2014

Can a 'Compromise' Feel Abundant?

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abundant compromise

I feel as though I've taken on a little bit of a mission of late...

To help people understand that they can easily transform their FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) into JOYO (the Joy Of Missing Out).

I write about this pretty extensively in High, and it doesn't cease to amaze me how often this theme keeps appearing in my life.


Today's video, like many of the stories in my book, is a personal one, and it comes to you offering a few insights:

:: How to take an inventory on how and where you're splintering your energy

:: How to have a grown-up conversation with someone you love

:: How to re-interpret what would once trigger you into a Missing Out spiral, into a source of pleasure, joy, care.

And it all comes down to this one fundamental question...

Is there such a thing as an abundant compromise?

Can sacrifice feel prosperous?

I tend to believe that (hell) yes, it can.

And here's why:


I love the way that paradox presents itself in relationships...

The way great intimacy ensues after tension.

The love that pours from the heart in a moment of forgiveness.

The frustration and fed-up-ness that can rear their heads into a conversation when suddenly all is on the table, and everyone is seen and heard and held.

I'm passionate about love being honest. About it not needing to be perfect, but needing to be deep, and light, and visceral.

So many of us give up in the face of adversity, but friends, The Power Struggle in a relationship is a sign that it's evolving, that it's shifting, and it's an invitation to merge with your love more deeply than ever.

Can you give up your need to be in control and instead meet your lover where they are, with full acceptance, with a listening heart, with patience?


More than anything, this beautiful conversation that Glen so very bravely kickstarted has reminded me that though I am a businesswoman, and a creative, and a writer... none of those things is actually what life is about. We can be very quick to trade addictions on this journey. From drugs to marketing. Cocktails to eCourses. Sex to Facebook.

We don't have to be turned on all the time. Not when there is such beauty right under our noses.

I hope this touched you in whatever way it needed to. I really look forward to hearing from you below. All shares and comments appreciated.

T xo

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26 comments

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    • 15 December 2014

      Ah, yes! Saying no from a place of love is SO expansive and trusting and warming I reckon - like saying 'there's always more where that came from...maybe another time'. How beautiful! xxx

      • 17 December 2014

        You nailed it lady beetle!

    • 16 December 2014

      Yes! Love this! I often find myself getting caught up in all the online courses, yoga teacher training, retreats, workshops etc and as much as I know I would love them, enjoy them and benefit from them, I feel restricted because I'm always working out how I can afford them or what I will have to go without in order to invest in them.

      Often this means date nights will have to go, I'll feel like I'm scrapping money together for a birthday gift for my boy or the wedding budget would suffer and in turn this attaches a sense of lack to a wonderful investment. I feel a huge sense of relief sometimes when I let go of it. I would rather invest when I have the means to. when I can have yummy lunches and dinners with my man while paying off a course. I've learnt to invest from a place of Abundance.

      Thanks Tars

      xx

      • 17 December 2014

        You know what's right for you honey. I've watched your discernment become stronger and stronger and that's a beautiful thing - knowing how and when to say 'no' at such a young age. Bless you x

    • 16 December 2014

      Love love love this honey... You are such a light.

      Thank you x

      • 17 December 2014

        :D (Squeeze you soon!) xo

    • 16 December 2014

      Wow! you really know how to say what needs to be said sometimes beautiful girl, so timely. Thank you for your honesty, and such a personal account (now stored for future reference). There is always more to do, there will always be more things to obtain but often the greatest things come from less or nothing at all. Love your work.
      x Ruby

      • 17 December 2014

        And thank you for your support and sweet as punch words yesterday! They really touched me xo

    • Jessie Kavanagh
      17 December 2014

      Love honest conversations like this. I can relate to this kind of thing right now too as I am trying to build my biz which involves buy equipment, hiring space, marketing etc but at the same time my hubby and I are trying to find a new home, get a new car and looking at starting a family. Compromise is SO important and if it's not talked about openly and honestly it won't get sorted :) xo.

      • 17 December 2014

        It's a fine line isn't it babe?

        Between taking the leap and just friggen going for it!! (I wouldn't be here if I didn't max out my credit cards 3 years ago)

        and..

        getting still and contemplating whether you've got enough right now in THIS moment.

        An enquiry that only you can instigate xo

    • Laura
      17 December 2014

      When you most need it, you shall receive. I was just thinking about going on a break from my blog a few weeks, even though I just launched it, but my body is in pain and as much as I'd love to be connected to my readers, my health is as important. I was contemplating about it but your post confirmed it.

      Thanks Tara, inspiring as always,
      Laura xo

      • 17 December 2014

        You're welcome beautiful.

    • 17 December 2014

      It feels so uncomfortable to wade through those first initial moments of that first conversation... or it was for me... but it opens up sooooooo much more love. Unconditional love. This is a beautiful post. =)

      • 17 December 2014

        Doesn't it?!

        #Sigh

        Thank you lady beetle. xo

    • 17 December 2014

      I love this, thank you for sharing with such honesty and grace. Your sincerity is so refreshing. I am coming into alignment with the concept of letting go of all 'trying' to make room for allowing. It sounds like you experienced an allowing of the love, peace and inner fulfillment which comes when we stop striving for more. Blessings xxx

      • 17 December 2014

        Sarah I really just want to say thank you for your presence as well. It's so felt around here.

        I'm really thankful that you stumbled upon my book and Amazon, which led you here. Blessings right back at you xo

    • Dana
      17 December 2014

      Tara, I just want to say thank you for setting a beautiful example for honest conversation-having. The next time I'm in those beautifully vulnerable communication waters with my man, I'd love to be able to respond to his honesty with "keep talking". THAT'S INTIMACY!! Thank you, as always, for your refreshing, candid posts. xx

    • Lucinda
      17 December 2014

      Tihs was great - Thanks Tara! you are just lovely and have such a beautiful energy. cant wait to talk to you next year! :)
      Lucinda

    • 17 December 2014

      Tara, this was very timely for me. I have been thinking about having an honest conversation with my husband about where we stand financially. He does not really understand just how much I have invested in myself and my business over the last year. It is not that I have necessarily hidden anything, he has just never cared to know about our finances. But I have been feeling like we need to have an honest, open and intimate talk about where things stand and how to proceed. I too am a seeker and I love to learn new things and attend seminars and workshops, especially ones that I think will enhance my coaching or my writing. I feel in my heart that it is time for me to re-evaluate just how much of this I really need in an effort to free up money and energy to share with my husband and my family. Thank you so much for sharing this and reminding me that I can compromise and feel abundant in return.

      Much love - Angie

    • Fiona
      17 December 2014

      So timely for me today to listen to this - thank you. In my life long quest for learning it's so easy to be drawn to all of the amazing things on offer to help me and my business grow. However my ongoing contemplation of them all detracts from me actually doing the work I feel so drawn to doing. Great reminder to pull back and just be. Be with my family and be the coach I want to be. Xx

    • Ruth
      17 December 2014

      This is great. Too funny about the timing! I am a martial artist/coach/actor so my life is always hopping from one love to the other. I wouldn't have it any other way, and I have a man who is all for me exploring the world and my talents to my hearts content. He rarely says 'no' or asks me for much, he lets me flit about and hugs me in between. What a guy! the other day I was flying in from Melbourne and was meant to head straight out to a reunion dinner when he said to me: 'actually, I would like to see you for more than 5 minutes before you go to sleep. I will live if I dont, but I want you to know how I feel.' It sounds like a simple thing, but not so much for him. I was so overwhelmed with his honesty and open heart I re planned and had dinner with him instead. I didnt feel like I had missed out on anything. In fact we felt closer to each other from one simple dinner. Awesome xx

    • Louise George - Bodhi Babes
      17 December 2014

      Thanks so much for sharing and this important reminder Tara. xo

    • 18 December 2014

      LOVE. LOOOOOOOOOVE.

      That is all.

    • 18 December 2014

      I love it. When someone is opening up to you, it is so important to reciprocate. Otherwise we are missing out on a great opportunity for connection, which honestly doesn't come around every day! It's not easy to be open and honest, but it sure is a lot more rewarding.

    • Emily
      20 December 2014

      Hm, this will definitely make me rethink some of the conversations i have. Especially the ones with the boy. xx

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