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Why Do You Love Him (Or Her)? Lessons in Detachment from My Man

lessons in detaching

Here’s me looking all nostalgic and contemplative. Haha!

Why do you love him? (Or her!) I want to hear the unexpected, totally-took-you-by-surprise reasons. Right here.

To kick off a little Valentines Day hoo-raa, I’m going to suggest that we all take a moment or two and get really, really honest with ourselves about a few things.

Before I came over to Japan, I read Wabi Sabi Love, by Arielle Ford – a simple but powerful read; one in which she gives umpteen examples of how to find perfect love in imperfect relationships.

In one story in particular, she describes how utterly frustrated Wife becomes with Husband, who has a penchant for morning poppy seed bagels. Husband just can’t seem to manage taking off for work each day without leaving a trail of black seeds all over Wife’s clean tiled kitchen floor.

It’s enough to make Wife’s blood boil.

Until one day, this jolting question appears in her psyche: If I look down one morning and those poppy seeds aren’t there, what does that mean?

The answer? It means… he’s gone.

If that stone cold realisation isn’t enough to make Wife worship those very seeds that lay sprinkled atop her tiles, I’m not quite sure what is.

And – moral of the story – it got me thinking about what we perceive to be imperfections in our partners are in fact their greatest gifts to us. For real.

Click play and you’ll hear a little about how this applies to me and Glen, and in particular, what it was like to collaborate with him in creating Such Different Eats.

And, because celebratory lists tell the world that we’re wide awake, noticing and grateful for the bounty of love in our lives, let me just declare, right here, a little more left-of-the-middle love for this man who coasts through Life at a gear I can only marvel at.

  • He has the patience to learn and experiment with the manual settings on our DSLR camera. I mean bloody hell, I can’t even seem to get ‘Auto’ to function right.
  • He’s the one who invests his time into researching all our travel. He makes the bookings, scouts the best places to stay, organises shuttles… If I’m not working, I can barely stand the sight of my computer, let alone book holidays on it. Often, when I finish a day’s work, I have vulnerable moments that show up in my life as an expectation that Glen will drop everything and offer all of himself to my thoughts and words and musings. I can tell you honestly that as I sit right here, typing from our hotel room in Hakuba, that I am incredibly grateful that he retreats to his Holiday Construction Cave, just as I retreat to my Creative One.
  • He stares blankly at me when I talk too much, which I’ve learnt to digest as my clue to plonk myself back in the present, instead of trying to compensate for something by filling up silence with unnecessary noise.
  • He reminds me to let my hair down on occasion. To share a bottle of sake with him. To try new foods. To sleep in. To progress my snowboarding practice (he’s like totally my shred mentor! Ha).
  • When he’s feeling restless, he simply reaches for book; a planet of pages that he could lose himself in for hours. Every time my eyes land on him when he’s curled up reading, I’m reminded of the permission I can grant myself to do the same.
  • We spend the afternoon vision boarding. His core desires? Happiness. Excitement. Contentment. Boom, simple as that. He prints out pictures of snow and surf – that’s his idea of Enough.

Under different circumstances, any of these situations might drive me a little bonkernoodles, in fact, I’ll be straight with you here, in the past – in the archives of our lives together – they absolutely have.  But you know what? As a seeker (and let’s not forget, as the companion of this man), it’s my responsibility to perceive his light. To allow whatever egoic echoes that ache to cause friction between us to fizzle (the fuck) out.

I’ll amen to that.

So, like I mentioned in the video, WHO are you celebrating the sacred masculine in (bearing in mind it very well might be a woman), and give me 2 unexpected reasons why. Dig deeply, Such Different Babes.

Looking forward to pouring through your words. All comments and shares smiled at with love. 

Happy Valentines Day.

PS: Have you grabbed your copy of Such Different Eats yet? I’m proud as punch of it.

34 Responses to Why Do You Love Him (Or Her)? Lessons in Detachment from My Man

  1. Lizzy February 13, 2014 at 9:39 pm #

    I’m celebrating the sacred masculine in my beautiful girlfriend. Tomorrow (slightly awkwardly) we’ve been together a year and I’ve never been happier/more content with life.
    2 unexpected reasons I love her:
    1) She’s the exact opposite of me. She’s so laid back about everything. She rarely gets super passionate/excited about anything, which used to annoy me, but now I realise that it’s just as valid a way of being, and I’m a little jealous of the quiet in her head.
    2) She lets herself be vulnerable with me, which is such a beautiful gift that I didn’t have appreciation for before. Like, the fact that someone will let you in, and let you see the raw, stripped down them, who they actually are at there core, that’s huge and beautiful and I’m determined never to take that for granted.

    • Tara February 13, 2014 at 10:51 pm #

      Lizzy babe,

      I literally fucking cried my eyes out reading this. THIS is exactly what I wanted to capture with this post – YOUR response.

      You just GET IT babe – the whole reason why I wrote this.

      Thank you for sharing so openly about WHY you love your incredible girlfriend.

      I read this out loud to Glen with tears in my eyes and he smiled right back at me.

      So, so grateful for this amazing comment xxx

  2. Natasha February 14, 2014 at 1:03 am #

    So beautiful Tara, and what an incredible experience to have shared and created Such Different Eats with your man.

    2 unexpected things I love about my man:

    1. The way he completely grounds me. A look, a simple squeeze of the hand, a one liner that puts everything into perspective. That laid back energy that calms my excitable nerves. By simply being himself, he makes me feel so incredibly supported.

    2. He is one of the most genuine people I know. The minute I met him, I knew that he had this warmth, a special charm. Everyone can’t help but feel it when they are around him. I love going somewhere and seeing him interact with people, observing them, and seeing their faces soften. He is a true gentleman, and is a friend to everyone. I am so lucky to have him as my best friend.

    *sigh* Tash xox

    • Tara February 14, 2014 at 11:27 am #

      *SIGGHHHHHHHHH* indeed Tash. Sigh.Indeed.

      Thank you beautiful x

  3. Katie February 14, 2014 at 1:51 am #

    Tomorrow…and always I will be celebrating my husband Adam. We have been together since we were 14 and I can honestly say that this year he blossomed!

    I am celebrating him for 2 reasons.

    1. He has the highest integrity of anyone I know and that often shows through other attributes like loyalty, compassion and respect. Life is black and white to him because he always does what is right. It’s not even a choice he always acts with the highest integrity. And I know that because many times (when I was weaker) I would challenge him with the usual “but no one will know.” and it never mattered. He’d never waver and now his high integrity has rubbed off on me. I deeply respect the person he is on a daily basis.

    2. He has the courage and conviction to become a better person. He’s will to put himself out there, be brave and strive to be better. That sometimes means sharing his deep rooted feelings, trying something new and scary or evaluating why something went wrong. That commitment to grow and improve is so damn sexy.

    Honestly this list could be much longer. I am eternally grateful that I have found such an awesome soulmate.

  4. Allie Tymo February 14, 2014 at 3:13 am #

    Although I’ve never commented on this space before, I absolutely LOVE sinking into your vids and make sure to never miss one. They always leave me feeling gently guided and supported, often having that sensation of ‘lightness’ in my body.

    I actually had to stop part way through this one, having the sudden urge to text my husband and say “AH! I freaking LOVE YOU!”

    Two unexpected things I cherish (and love) about that beautiful man o’ mine:

    1. In our relationship, I’m the one who’s incredibly laid back and he’s very much the opposite. (Though – it’s interesting to see how we’re growing together and influencing each other as time passes) In the beginning of our relationship (and especially when we started living together) this absolutely drove me wild. Chores felt like obligations. Having structure felt restricting. I had no idea why he was so insistent on things being a certain way and why he couldn’t just chill out. What I’ve learned from him is that I’m craving foundation and structure. When I embrace this part in myself, there’s more SPACE around everything. There’s a sense of lightness and spaciousness in my mind that would have previously been taken up by other things. He keeps my flighty-brain grounded. (While I keep his grounded-brain more flighty! Ying-yang indeed;) I see a sense of discipline and determination in him that I find so wildly inspiring.

    2. When he’s into something (whether that be painting, design, an idea, a project, anything), he’s ALL THE WAY into it. That man is just SO engaged with life. He shows me that it’s okay to jump in with both feet, unapologetically. To follow the call of your soul and not to look back. Not to question, not to wonder, not to stall or delay. Even if it’s something he’s never done before, he doesn’t ever think “Oh – I couldn’t possibly do that.” or “What if I fail?” He chases after it, not thinking of any potential consequence or an unwanted outcome. It comes to him effortlessly, not just in the ‘big’ things, but the small things too.

    Sometimes I just have to stand back in awe of how he shows up in his life, and I’m just so grateful to be a part of that.

    Ahhh, now I have tears in my eyes 🙂

    • Tara February 14, 2014 at 11:14 am #

      DAMMIT to dammitty-damn-ville this is so outrageously freaking beautiful.

      Now I have tears in my eyes too!

      Thank you for commenting here.

      Thank you for texting your man and telling him you love him.

      Thank you for being in awe of him.

      I appreciate you x

  5. Rachel February 14, 2014 at 9:01 am #

    Beautiful post! I love that you are celebrating the masculine!

    I am celebrating these qualities in a masculine being right now:

    1. How he is holding this space of listening and love for every expression I have, no matter how dark or dense I perceive it to be. Every feeling is welcome and it has given me so much freedom to share my thoughts and feelings, no matter how embarrassed, vulnerable, or silly I feel :))

    2. How present and aware he is with his touch and with intimacy. I’ve never experienced so much openness, trust, and vulnerability before!

    • Tara February 14, 2014 at 11:10 am #

      ‘No matter how dark or dense I perceive it to be…’

      I think you hit the nail on the head there Rach. That feminine energy is such a deep diver, and yet the masculine seems to be unafraid of stillness and clarity. I think it’s so beautiful that we can open up conversations like these ones, because we learn so much about ourselves as not only women in the world, but as companions; as half of the whole. *Sigh* Such powerful stuff. Thank you SO much for being here x

  6. Erin / The Rogue Ginger February 14, 2014 at 9:10 am #

    I love this conversation and thank you for sharing your experience with your partner Tara.

    Two unexpected reason I love my my man (it is hard to note only two)

    1. I love that he supports my plastic free living lifestyle and always pushes me to take it further. He was no environmentalist when we met. But now he is constantly thinking of great ideas to make our life more sustainable. He believes I have the capacity to change the world for the better. His passion for my passion makes me smile ear to ear.

    2. He can be disorganised. And rarely plans anything. His runs life at a last minute pace. He is loud. Breaks into a dance wherever we are. While I am the complete opposite; a proud introvert that always thinks ahead and is quite. I used to get frustrated by what I thought was a disregard for others when it came to planning and doing things last minute. I now realise his last minute lifestyle is him constantly living in the present moment. He will see an elderly lady on a 40 degree day and walk up to her to see if she is OK or offer to help strangers without a second thought. He sees things I do not. While I look to see what is over the hill he is looking what is right in front of him.
    I cannot wait to tell him this when I see him. Thank you for letting me share.

    • Tara February 14, 2014 at 11:07 am #

      Erin honey, THIS is so gorgeous: ‘He sees things I do not. While I look to see what is over the hill he is looking what is right in front of him.’

      Please, PLEASE tell him all of this when you see him next. Last night, I read this post aloud to Glen with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat. He smiled and said softly, ‘thanks baby.’

      THAT is why we need to tell the people in our lives that we see their light. So they can feel it. And so we can feel what it feels like to give so openly. Thank you so much for sharing this with me and everyone else who reads it. x

  7. Alex February 14, 2014 at 9:14 am #

    This is such a beautiful post and video Tara…. One can feel when another is completely in the flow, on the right path and this is beaming from every one of your cells! You have created such a kick-ass, authentic space here and today on lovers day, you should seriously take a moment to love you! Thank you for just being you and sharing your magic with the world. And thank you for reminding us all to be present and grateful.

    The unexpected two reasons that I love my man, my companion:

    1. His passion. He is outspoken, controversial, with a strong Canadian accent and enjoys the type of conversation where there is disagreement. He shows up in every moment as himself, 100% of the time. He doesn’t soften his presence, he embraces his authentic nature. As a passive, ‘pleasing’ Taurus – I shy away from any form of controversy. But through watching him be him, he inspires me to be more me. And to stand next to him proudly as he passionately shares his opinions with others.

    2. The fact that I have to dry and put away his favourite cooking knife as soon as it has been washed. Everything else can drip dry, but this knife.. it is important and although I attempt to rebel with this ‘rule’ at moments, I love how he respects his favourite possessions – no matter how small or large. He is never too busy to do things properly. This has been so powerfully influential.

    Here is to so much love!! x

    • Tara February 14, 2014 at 11:04 am #

      Wah! I love LOVE.

      YOU are so stupidly divine beautiful Alex, so these words coming from you are like honey coating my lil heart.

      Thank you for seeing (and sharing) the light in your man. How beautiful x

  8. Amelia {Nurture and Shine} February 14, 2014 at 9:50 am #

    Oh honey! Goosebumps! I love any chance to celebrate LOVE.

    What can I say about this love of mine?

    1. He grounds me with his whole heart. If ever I get my head stuck up in the clouds or get lost in meaning or analysis, he brings me straight back to the present in a loving, but honest way. He doesn’t sweat the small stuff, he lets go of angst and he moves on quickly. I LOVE that about him. And I learn more from him that he will ever realise.

    2. He is so very good with people. People are drawn to him – he has this infectious, magnetic personality that is all due to his confidence in who he is, and his deep caring nature. He would do anything for anyone – he is fiercely kind and loyal. And once he’s your friend, he’s your friend for life. He’s taught me to come out of my shell, to not be afraid of small talk and to embrace connection in every way.

    And I have to do one more : The father in him. Since being a Dad, he has completely come into his own. He loves, respects and nurtures our children in a way that makes me heart beam with a thousand suns. Fatherhood has made him even more patient, even more protective and even more loyal… and sexy as hell!

    Thank you for this post darling girl. Love to you and Glen. xxx

    • Tara February 14, 2014 at 11:02 am #

      Oh my GOD!

      Babe thank you so much for sharing. ‘The father in him.’ That made the hairs on my neck stand up. Gosh I look forward to the day that I see the father in Glen, although somedays, I swear I already can.

      Thank you sweet heart x

  9. Jo Anderson February 14, 2014 at 10:42 am #

    Oh how I love this! Today I am celebrating my incredible husband and when I read this quote from The Alchemist, I know it to be true, in fact we say each and every day how grateful we are that we were divinely brought together.

    “So I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you” ~ The Alchemist

    I had to go around the world from South Africa to the Caribbean to a little tiny bar in a small French town, lose my myself completely before I found my soft natured, strong hearted Aussie man and when I did, in an instant, I knew I had been given a gift by something far greater than anything we can perceive.

    1. He knows my light and shadow like no one else in this world and loves me fully and completely for both. I never knew this was possible.

    2. He doesn’t care what other people think, literally couldn’t care! amazing. At dinner with friends he will randomly suggest that we each take turns to say something really nice about the person next to us. He makes decisions where I am so indecisive. He talks in a really high voice when he tries to speak french. (its adorable) He is so patient where I am so impetuous. He gives the most thoughtful gifts.. for my birthday he had all my friends and family send in their fav recipe and photos and messages and had a personalized cookbook made for me I wept like a baby reading it on my birthday and for Vday.. he gave me an antique whisk, rolling pin and rusted enamel bowls ( this might sound strange but I have a food blog and I collect antique props). Surfing, fishing and being on the water makes his soul come alive you can see it in his eyes. I could go on and on. Every day I tell him how grateful I am for the person he is because he is the best person I know.

    Love to You and Glen I hope you get some awesome pow pow today 🙂

    • Tara February 14, 2014 at 11:00 am #

      How incredibly beautiful. Thank you Jo. Just gorgeous x

  10. Rach // In Spaces Between February 14, 2014 at 11:29 am #

    Oh babe. This video. You. Glen. All of The Love.

    I think you already know this but I want to take a moment, in this love-filled space you’ve carved out to share a lil appreciation for my soul-man.

    1. His wisdom. He is an old soul – mostly behind closed doors, but I think as he progresses in ‘age years’ those around him are getting more of a peek at his thoughtful, wise approach to life. In moments where I falter, he leads me home again…. often with just one sentence, said with equal parts straight shootin’ ‘hey, you know that isn’t true’ conviction and deep, deep love. He is grounded, rooted in his ‘self-ness’ – he never seeks approval elsewhere – and peaceful in spirit.

    2. The way he is with his friends. Being the humble creature he is, he would kill me/ shake his head profusely if he knew I said this, but as an observer (and as others have mentioned to me) he is something special in that big group of (awesome) men, who have all been best mates since childhood. At our wedding I cried when my step-Dad said in his speech… “You know the thing about Ramai? He is just so interested in you. When you talk to him, you have his full attention. He listens deeply. He loves people for who they are, and what he can learn about them.” I can see how much his mates adore that. He is loyal, generous, and magnetic. Watching him interact with friends makes my heart swell.

    3. His humour. He is my favourite kind of smart ass.

    I shared a few love-related quotes on my FB page yesterday and this one in particular speaks to me today when I think of Ramai:

    “We are two sides of the same magic.”

    Love you. And love this. Happy V Day my sweet. xx

    • Tara February 14, 2014 at 11:38 am #

      Wahhhhhhh baby!

      Gosh this is just so… (to reference one of my core desires) … LOVELY.

      Completely, COMPLETELY love-soaked. And I’ll tell you what, I feel so privileged to have observed all that you’ve just mentioned about Ramai in glorious little glimpses.

      He is a spectacular man – the perfect compliment to Who You Are.

      I love you so, so much lady x

  11. Jess | Sparrow + Sea February 14, 2014 at 12:03 pm #

    Oh my sweet, what a beautiful post.

    The sacred masculine in my man lights me up in ways I never knew I could be lit.

    He cares for me in a way that blows my mind, and he gets me in a way that helps me understand myself.

    He’s the stillness to my flurry, the ease to my hurry.

    He is amazing and I love him.

    To parts and pieces.

  12. Monique February 14, 2014 at 1:30 pm #

    What an awesome post Tara!
    The two things that I absolutely love about my man are;
    1. His optimist. From the most pessimistic soul out there, his optimism sometimes drives me crazy! But without it, I would probably be in a very sorry, dark place. He has the ability to paint a silver lining on every cloud, no matter how dark. I am slowly learning to find the same positivity he does, and for that I’m so, so grateful! His usual comment, “shit happens” used to provoke “no shit does not just HAPPEN!!”, but now my response is a nod, maybe a cry, but always the determination to find my way through the shit.
    2. His respect for his family, me, and other people. I am sometimes too proud to say sorry when it’s not my fault, too proud to put my ego aside for the sake of a friendship or to avoid an argument. My man will always put you first, even if it means he has to bite his tongue until the heat settles and you can talk about it. I am always amazed whenever he does this. It makes me mad sometiwms, but deep down I wish I could be the same.

    I have the biggest smile on my face right now, thanks for stirring up these emotions Tara. Happy Valebtines Day to you and your man!

  13. Michaela February 14, 2014 at 1:35 pm #

    Firstly, I want to say that I seriously dig this post – just beautiful 🙂 Now I don’t have a significant man in my life at the moment in terms of a partner so I’m going to break the mould a little here and speak about the most significant, long-serving man in my life – my dad. The things I love and appreciate about his masculine influence on my life:
    1. His sense of humour. His intellect and wit is not on a par with anyone else I’ve ever met and he makes me laugh so, so much, a lot of the time. I especially appreciate this when I’m on a serious, determined thought path and he will spring a one-liner on me that completely dissolves it all. The whole saga falls to the ground around me while I’m laughing uncontrollably, completely free of the seriousness I’d been hell bent on only moments before. I will always adore this quality in him.
    2. His support for me being exactly who I am. My dad has never once been critical about any part of who I am, even the fiery, determined, smart-ass side of me. In fact, he says this is one of the things he loves most about me. His complete lack of the need to judge or analyse me is a quality I so deeply admire and respect about masculine energy. He always believes in me 100% and has been the permanent fixture in my life telling me to go for my dreams, whatever they may be, because he truly believes I can achieve them. I feel so lucky and grateful to have his balanced, masculine influence in my life.

    Big love xx (hope it’s OK that I did things a bit differently!)

  14. Kristen February 14, 2014 at 2:36 pm #

    I love this so much Tara. This is a message I really needed and Its got me seeing him in a whole new light.

    I am celebrating him, my fiance, love, trustee, best friend.

    (1) His fiery passion. He’s been manifesting and creating since he was a young boy and was totally oblivious to it. People telling him he can’t only ignites more determination in him. If he wants something, he will find a way.

    (2) He breaks the best kind of promises. example. Earlier in the week..”Promise not buy each other anything for Valentines day but to give the gift of presence this year?, yes, agreed”. This morning.. “go look under your pillow” he says. He cant help himself.

    (3) I often say “you don’t listen to me” only to be proved wrong by gift he buys or the way he proposed and in many other things he surprises me with. He listens to the important stuff. He hears me.

  15. Andrea Belarruti February 14, 2014 at 4:43 pm #

    Oh, this is so good, so important to take a moment to acknowledge and celebrate that masculine energy. What I love about /learn from him:

    1.Simplicity. He doesn’t own much stuff, he doesn’t even have to declutter ’cause he has no clutter at all. Everything he owns could probably fit in a couple of boxes and that’s it. No complications, no extra things that are not needed. Purely essentials.

    2. Dedication & commitment. He’s been a musician for almost 20 years, and there hasn’t been a day he hasn’t studied like he was just starting out. He doesn’t get distracted by shiny objects, he’s absolutely focused and devoted to his music. Period.

    3. Detachment. Exactly as Glen, he has put so much out there, so many Cds and amazing music and he’s so detached, doesn’t make it a big deal. He’s would totally say the same as Glen “Well, I did my best for this project and now it’s done”.

  16. Jasmine February 15, 2014 at 9:44 am #

    Ahhh I loved reading this post and watching your video Tara – gosh that story about the poppy seeds really got me this morning I had just been annoyed at there being ‘stuff’ scattered everywhere all over our house. Without my man the house might be tidy but it would mean that he isn’t here! Be careful what you wish for hey??

    A couple reasons why I am celebrating my man:

    1. he is constantly trying to make me smile and laugh – whether I am in a bad mood, have just woken up or am getting annoyed, he constantly tries to be silly and push my buttons and sometimes it is so frustrating that I crack…yet eventually it always ends in laughter… And it is SO important for me to be with someone who makes me laugh every day! A big belly laugh makes all the worries in the world fade away into nothing.

    2. he is such a sensitive soul – while I am often quick to forgive and forget and to excuse the behaviour of others, he knows that he deserves to be treated with love and respect by everyone in his life, and he really takes it to heart when someone hurts him in some way. He remembers how people make him feel and from this comes some solid and deep connections, while letting go of people and situations that don’t add anything positive to his life.

    So nice to reflect and remember what it is that makes my man the unique and special guy that he is!

  17. Claire | This is Lifeblood February 15, 2014 at 6:40 pm #

    Beautiful Tara!

    You know what. My boyfriend is only a very new part of my life, but has quickly become a big one! I still haven’t told him I love him yet – although I totally do. (Hoping he doesn’t read SDS right now?! Ha!)

    Things I love:

    1) He’s so not who I thought was going to be my next boyfriend. I wanted a boy version of me – a spirit-seeking yogi and dreamer who I could chat about meditation and consciousness with. He SO isn’t that – at least at first glance. I’ve realised that while I’m talking about presence, he’s actually living in the moment. While I’m forcing myself to let go, he’s been there and done that. While I’m at yoga, he’s in the ocean surfing – his own form of yoga. He’s so fucking chilled. So supportive of “me”, yet totally thinks I’m a little bit crazy – but (I think) loves me anyway.

    2) In a totally primal way – he’s got an incredible, masculine air and body. Like, wow. It’s switched on a part of my sexuality that hasn’t seen the light of day in awhile. So… Rugged. Rough. You know?

    Thanks for this babe – maybe I better tell him all of this too! 😉

  18. Juliet Turalski February 16, 2014 at 11:03 am #

    What a beautiful post and gorgeous comments to read and come together with!

    My man and I have known each other for almost 4 years now. We’ve had a couple of break(up)s in-between, but with each break we gave ourselves time to breathe into our own freedom and sense of expression, coming back to one another with even more love and compassion.

    1. He taught me to allow myself to do nothing. At the beginning of our relationship this drove me NUTS and I couldn’t understand how he could just do nothing and lay on a bed for an extended period of time. He taught me however that I don’t have to feel like I need to fill up my time 24/7 but can enjoy myself and the peace of presence.

    2. He has taught me to be free by really going after my desires – to stop talking about something and to just do it. He goes after what he wants unapologetically and works toward his passions without any attachment to the outcome. And he has always been supported by taking the action. It is INSPIRING.

    I am so grateful for the challenges and lessons that the masculine & feminine balance bring.

    Love you Ta – thanks for this video xo

  19. Katherine - The Beauty of Life February 16, 2014 at 2:02 pm #

    Look what you have done, Miss Bliss! So often in life we use our girlfriends as sounding boards to vent our frustrations with that special man in our life, and you have turned that into a celebration.

    I hope that you are bursting with joy and pride right now, lady.

    The two things I want to celebrate about my man are this:

    1) His ability to make me feel totally safe in an instant. I can be a hot mess and, suddenly, he will do something as simple as put his arms around me or say, ‘hey, it’s gonna be okay’ and I know, from the warmth that he emits that he’s completely right.

    2) How he can go from the most intelligent person I know to a little kid in a total of 3.5 seconds. Sometimes I can’t help but giggle when his face lights up over a video game or a brand new bottle of juice in the fridge. It’s a great reminder that even the strongest dudes are also open to vulnerability and being children at heart, and the importance of finding joy in the simplest things.

  20. Jemma February 16, 2014 at 3:06 pm #

    I freaking love this post! The main thing my man teaches me everyday is to live in the present, he is almost always present, to the point where its hard to get him to make plans because he doesn’t know what he’ll fee like doing in a week, for example. This used to frustrate me but I have realised it is so good for keeping my mind present. Also he makes me feel grounded and safe, calms my crazy monkey mind in an instant! I love how men have that laid back, carefree mindset about them, no crazy monkeys in there!

    xxx

  21. Laura February 26, 2014 at 2:40 pm #

    Wow I randomly found your blog on the conscious foodie site and i’m in awe!

    The end of this video brought tears to my eyes i love your words ” beautifully fascinating yet sometimes challenging grounded present masculine energy” and I totally feel that!!

    Even though it’s past Valentines day I’m going to celebrate the unexpected reason I love my boyfriend Govinda
    – His kind hearted genuine nature and spirituality, he is the most lovely person I know
    – His drive to move forward with goals and a vision

    <3 Thanks Tara Amazing post x

    • Tara February 26, 2014 at 6:13 pm #

      Thank you for sharing Laura (and for being here!)

      Do me a favour? Tell Govinda what you told us. 🙂

  22. Zoë March 14, 2014 at 12:35 pm #

    Hey Tara, just wanted to pop in and thank you for mentioning Wabi Sabi Love – this post was very much what I needed to read at the time and so I bought the book – it’s made a HUGE different in how I see my man and I feel like I’m falling in love with him all over again! 🙂

    Keep on doing what you’re doing!! x

  23. Iris March 20, 2014 at 8:23 am #

    This post is incredible. I’ve been with my man for six years now, and I have never heard anyone paint such a beautiful picture of what it means to be in a relationship with a man and love and grow together.

    1) I love it when he lets me in on his dreams and visions, but doesn’t feel like it’s necessary to do much talking. Sometimes he’ll just say one sentence and that is all. And it’s all that needs to be said. I used to want to get more out of him, but know I’m learning to appreciate those small glimpses of his soul, and stand in awe at how simple & concise he can sum them up.

    2) I love it when he plans things. When we go out on a picnic or plan a holiday, he’s the one who does all the research and thinks of the practical. I love being strategic with big visions and lofty ideas, but I hate, hate, hate the nitty gritty, especially when it’s just mundane organizing. I used to get annoyed when he wanted to talk to me about those things, but I’ve learned to appreciate the fact that he’s so great at doing these things, and taking care of me through planning for the both of us.

    • Tara March 21, 2014 at 1:15 pm #

      What a gorgeous comment 🙂 Please tell him what you told me xo

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