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Lucky Dip: Whispers From My Journal

It’s weird. I feel uncomfortable. I feel full of doubt about this.

You will find another way, T. You always do. You adapt, you devote, you know how to find your feet.

Will I experience that degree of spirituality and synchronicity as I did then?

Do not attach to the symbol. When you cling, you cannot create. You are a spirit among spirits, living your dharma, and it suits you. You are supported and safe and protected, and you must keep going.

I sometimes feel like this message in me is insignificant.

That’s nonsense. That is the human in you – feeling intensely what is only meant to be fleeting. You are beyond insignificance, beyond doubt. You are the vessel for the message, so how can it be insignificant?

Why am I journalling at 2am, instead of sleeping, resting, healing?

Why ask why? You are becoming sleepy. You will be resting soon enough.

I have forgotten about you, about this. These last few months up in my head, star-gazing, strategizing, studying. Meditation has been nothing but a to-do. I’ve forgotten the true potency of it. I’ve forgotten that meditation isn’t about clocking minutes, it’s about opening, surrendering, dissolving into each moment of the cosmos. I forgot to be present. I forgot to soften. To flow. To allow the freedom that’s so natural. And so here I am. 2am, journalling. Remembering.

And here you are.

Hhhmm.

You can always re-enter the temple and meet yourself there. Remember, there. Integrate, there. You will not find answers elsewhere. You will find semi-truths. You will uncover myths and fall into the vacuum of seduction, but you will not realise absolute truth. The truth is the whispers from behind your chest cavity; in between and underneath your ribs. That is the place no book or audio or teacher or lesson can compete with. Useful, yes, but they are secondary. Secondary. You have opened quite a deal, but you are only just beginning. There is no need to feel as though you need to dig. Digging is effortful and unnecessary.

This world. This crazy world of everything and nothing. Always nudging, always hinting. The more I resist it, the more tired I become. Maybe, if I listened, if I drew upon my faith a little more, ease would wash over me with greater intensity. I’d feel even more supported, because surely there’s no lid on the amount of love and support one can feel from the Divine. Surely I can choose to believe in that infinite space I belong to, came from, unfold out of. It is the journey I am on, the destination I already inhabit.

Oh, life.

All these riddles, all this polarity. Forever keeping me on my toes. Keeping me nimble. Ensuring that I never outgrow the ‘amateur.’ The more I learn, the less I know. 

Go to sleep now.

19 Responses to Lucky Dip: Whispers From My Journal

  1. Ashley June 13, 2014 at 8:14 am #

    so so lovely. thank you for sharing this.

    • Tara June 15, 2014 at 10:10 am #

      You’re welcome gorgeous xo

  2. Jessie @ gypsyspirittravel June 13, 2014 at 8:19 am #

    I love little shares like this, it lets you know that these kind of thoughts are not uncommon. We are all going through similar journeys, reaching similar roadblocks, the only difference is time and circumstance.

    Thanks for the share 🙂 xo

    • Tara June 15, 2014 at 10:10 am #

      Absolutely honey. xo

  3. Fran June 13, 2014 at 11:01 am #

    So beautiful, loved reading this 🙂 It’s like a really well written & poetic version of my journal! <3 I could read a whole book of this…

    • Tara June 15, 2014 at 10:09 am #

      Hey hey hey! Don’t go putting ideas in my head! I’ve got enough on my plate 😛 hehe

  4. Jasmine June 13, 2014 at 11:46 am #

    Maybe one of my favourites Tara. This is beautiful.

    “I’ve forgotten that meditation isn’t about clocking minutes … ” & “The more I learn, the less I know.” … love love lovedy love.

    It’s funny – I can actually feel the energy in my body of what you have written. I feel quite calm. Bless you darling xo

    • Tara June 15, 2014 at 10:09 am #

      I lovedy love YOU. Hehe.

  5. Kylie June 13, 2014 at 12:10 pm #

    I’ve saved this post on my desktop, to remind me to return to myself especially in times of striving and resistance. Thank you Tara xo

    • Tara June 15, 2014 at 10:09 am #

      Oh! How lovely! 🙂

  6. Tracey June 13, 2014 at 1:15 pm #

    So brave to share this Tara, thank you. I’ve been reading your blog for some time now & it’s been great to know there are kindred spirits out there living with intention & authenticity

    • Tara June 15, 2014 at 10:08 am #

      Thanks babe!

  7. Erika June 13, 2014 at 1:58 pm #

    Thank you, Tara. You are a leader in light and love.

    • Tara June 15, 2014 at 10:07 am #

      🙂 As are you xo

  8. Zoran June 13, 2014 at 8:40 pm #

    This IS beyond amazing Tara. Straight from the Source. So obvious you’ve only being the instrument for this message. Soul Talk. Love you <3

    • Tara June 15, 2014 at 10:07 am #

      You have the most beautiful energy Zoran, thank you xo

  9. Ruby June 13, 2014 at 11:01 pm #

    Oh Tara <3
    Tears of recognition flow gently.
    Beautiful words, beautiful spirit, radiant light.

    • Tara June 15, 2014 at 10:07 am #

      Oh thank you Ruby! Love you xo

  10. Jess June 16, 2014 at 2:55 pm #

    This is DIVINE. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

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