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Some Thoughts On Laziness, Momentum & Being Gentle

Laziness Momentum Gentle (1)

Why is writing so much easier at a cafe?

Can anyone answer that for me?

The perfect environment, a little bit of bustle, laptop out, notebook handy.

Even the sounds of traffic and other people’s conversations and the uncomfortable chairs don’t seem to buffer the flow.

All the words… they just arrive for me.

Maybe it’s because being here turns an everyday thing that could be done at home into an event of its own.

Maybe my writing prefers that I slap on some lip balm and run a brush through my hair?

Maybe it rather enjoys the company of turmeric lattes and raw chocolate?

Maybe it simply prefers that I make the effort in showing up for it? (Yep, that’s probably it)


If you have had difficulty ‘showing up’ in full capacity for your life, relationships, vision and mission, I have compassion for that.

I understand.

Balance and harmony are very, very attractive to me. I believe in them, but lately, instead of being them, I find myself longing to return to them. I seem to find myself in either a FULL STEAM AHEAD LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE AND MAKE IT HAPPEN AND CHANGE THE FCKN WORLD ALREADY pace, or, on the flip side, in an almost apathetic state of being. Aliveness – wavered. Inspiration – dimmed.


You might be thinking ‘Come on Tara, go easy, you’re just riding the flow…’

The thing is, though, I prefer to think that we generate a lot of our own flow.

For example, can I share with you a one-liner that I just dead-set reject?

What Will Be, Will Be.

I really, really dislike those words in that order.

The people who say that are people who are dissatisfied with their life but too afraid to take action.

That statement is far too passive for my appreciation, and whilst I believe in surrender, I do not believe in living passively.

I believe in self-responsibility, in exercising our God given gift to choose and make decisions, and I certainly believe that momentum is something that is self-generated. (Please let that land. Momentum is not something that happens to you, or not)

Yes, there are cycles and rhythms to take into account. There are seasons and moon phases and monthly bleeds and seasonal affective stuff which can influence us; that’s not something I can deny because I believe in those things entirely. But I have to wonder whether we hand over a great chunk of our power too soon, simply because the moon is bright and full, or we are pre-menstrual, or, we just don’t feel like it today.

I have been wrestling with this spectrum a lot lately. When does the superhero amount of action become burn out? When does ‘resting’ becoming laziness?

Rob Bell’s words ring loudly in my ears:

‘How jacked up of a world do we live in if we can’t even slow down without thinking that we’re being lazy?’

Can you sense the turmoil in my head? (You might feel relieved to know that you’re not the only one)

I know when I am erring on the side of head-driven living because here’s what I do:

  • I become impatient with all things divinely feminine (I may even be busted rolling my eyes)
  • My capacity for empathy diminishes and I focus on solutions rather than connection
  • Conversations with my love become a little too laced with business, goals, growth and milestone chat
  • I will start my day looking into a screen, rather than sitting in stillness

In other words, the masculine aspects of my being spreads itself into too many rooms of my interior mansion. It starts to get a little greedy with the space that’s available in there. It stuffs away the feelings that need to felt and replaces them with the things that need to be done.

Are you experiencing something similar to me right now?

Are you seeking that sweet spot, somewhere between RAH! and BLAH!

I never want to hang out in any one state too long, and so with that in mind…

How can you return to that sweet spot?

For me, as I was telling my bestie this morning, it’s always about returning to the things that I know work for me. And, as it often goes, the answer is so damn simple that it’s almost embarrassing.

It’s about the breath.
It’s about the beach.
It’s about Layla.
It’s about birdsong.
It’s about stillness.
It’s about sweat.
It’s about offering my full presence to my relationships.
It’s about being here, right now, and noticing the unfoldment, rather than constantly trying to climb into the next moment.
It’s about being mindful of my pace.
It’s about, as I heard the phenomenal Peta Kelly recently say ‘Me going gangsta on my life rather than letting my life go gangster on me.’

You are okay.
How do I know? You’re here.
Take a deep breath, gather up your power and your choices, and distribute them wisely.

Take lots of action (you must, if you consider yourself a game-changer), but do it with consciousness and presence — it will help keep you plugged into the aliveness that you need to fuel you.

Be kind to you. Gentle. Compassionate. Be fully in your body.

Don’t neglect the rituals that you know serve YOU. If you’re anything like me, when you neglect those symbolic gestures of physical poetry, you feel empty, despite whatever outside success you may be experiencing.

And finally, know that whilst it sounds like I’m addressing you right now, actually, I’m writing to me.

There are people out here in the world of www who don’t want you to know about the sore and tender places within them. It’s such a shame. If only they knew of the far-reaching impact they would have if they just revealed a few more bruises.

Here I stand, with you, Bliss Tribe — you bunch of graceful rebels, you — sharing these bruises so that all of our green and blue and purple blotches that adorn our skin may heal more rapidly.

You’re doing a bloody good job.
Now, look within and explore that sweet spot.

All bliss,

Tara xo

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17 Responses to Some Thoughts On Laziness, Momentum & Being Gentle

  1. Ceri August 24, 2016 at 6:49 pm #

    Your timing. Mwah.

    Rach will have a knowing smile when I say this in particular was an “ahhh, yes” moment; “There are people out here in the world of www who don’t want you to know about the sore and tender places within them. It’s such a shame. If only they knew of the far-reaching impact they would have if they just revealed a few more bruises”

    I’m lying in bed feeling a bit batterer and numb from hustle the last few days, and definitely the balance has not been there. Time to be a little more discerning… and show up for my writing too. I am so glad to see you back here xo

    • Rach August 25, 2016 at 11:10 am #

      *Knowing smile* 🙂

    • Sunshine March 10, 2017 at 11:38 am #

      I am seriously coaptmtlneing getting some earplugs for use before receiving Holy Communion so that I can meditate appropriately afterwards, and shut out the volume of sound from the amplifiers. Would that be sinful, do you think?

  2. Elizabeth August 24, 2016 at 7:15 pm #

    Love this Tara, and I agree re writing at a cafe being easier! I go through phases of writing a lot ( cranked out several 2k posts a few months ago) to writing here and there and putting off writing my book. I too tend to go with the flow. I also find unique ways to inspire my creativity without being too in my head.

    • Kory March 10, 2017 at 1:49 am #

      Wow I must confess you make some very trenhcant points.

  3. Anissa August 24, 2016 at 8:41 pm #

    A-M-E-N, sista!
    Yes, it’s ebb and flow – and I have no idea, if I like it that way… Or, more accurately: if I want to CHOOSE it that way.
    I loooove the hustle, but I’m also aware of how less in the moment I can be during my “get-shit-done” phases, so I’m striving for more harmony.
    Breathing, feeling the earth, indulging in the moment and surroundings should help with that, but it’s a process and evolution for me to be aware of that.
    Thanks for your beautiful words – they are like post-it notes from the Universe, reminding me that
    a) we’re never alone with our feelings and
    b) there is so much wisdom floating around – there’ll ALWAYS be a solution
    Hugs from Austria!

  4. Renae August 24, 2016 at 8:43 pm #

    This is one of your BEST! Thank you xxx

  5. Claire O August 24, 2016 at 9:18 pm #

    Babe, it’s like you read my heart and mind. Still working it out, and with a baby in the mix sometimes I don’t get to choose for myself. Thanks for writing words I needed to read.

  6. Beckee August 24, 2016 at 10:11 pm #

    You once recommended the book Women Who Run With the Wolves. It was the best book recommendation I’ve ever received. I’ve read it four time in the last year!
    There was a great story in there about how we need to slow down and rock ourselves when we feel stressed. (The exact story had to do with a lost man that gets rocked by an elderly women. He reverts back to a baby and then becomes transformed into the sun).
    I find this post also inspiring me to do more of that. Finding time to meditate and slow down is necessary or else we will
    Burn out.
    Thank you

  7. Sarah August 24, 2016 at 10:29 pm #

    Great article Tara, really related. Thank you

  8. EJ August 24, 2016 at 10:48 pm #

    Divinely timed, as always xx

  9. Autumn August 25, 2016 at 3:51 am #

    Beautiful and exactly the pull I needed back to the person I’m striving to become.

    Thank youuuuuuuu

  10. Kristie August 25, 2016 at 6:59 am #

    Thank you Tara, truely beautifully written and it touched my heart ✨✨✨

  11. Emily August 25, 2016 at 11:01 am #

    Tara, you are beautiful. Thank you so much for your honest and heartfelt words. I love everything you write xx

  12. Kathy August 25, 2016 at 1:27 pm #

    I work out of cafe’s regularly, it’s my inspiration time and I probably write the best blogs ever from a cafe. Love this post, I am currently in love with getting people to shift their focus away from doing and into being, less action more awareness and wow they see results..

  13. Rachael Phillips August 25, 2016 at 5:03 pm #

    Love this so much!
    I completely get what you mean. Sometimes my mind can be whirling with YES lets go do all this stuff and do it like this and get it done YESTERDAY but my body, that’s a different story. Sometimes, it just wants to just lie there and let the thoughts take over.

    I know this sounds so stupid but sometimes, when I’ve got stacks on, I swear my body goes in to a state of shock, my mind works but I physically just don’t have the motivation or the energy to get up and show up. I’m pretty sure it’s probably my body saying ‘no, you’re on the wrong path’ but who knows.

    Either way – great post <3

  14. Nicole Perhne August 25, 2016 at 8:12 pm #

    Great post, Tara, as always. I’m reading this post whilst tucked up in bed nursing a cold/flu, which I know is because I have been too busy hustlin’ and running from thing to thing, instead of just bloody being! This is my body’s way of telling me to slow down, connect back to my truth and get back into flow.

    Thank you for your precious words and for always shining a light into what is revealing itself in your life – I am ever so grateful for you, wise one.


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