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Honouring Jess Ainscough (and How You Can, Too)

honouring Jess Ainscough

Where do you even start?

In and amongst the tears and the smiles and the grief and the peace, perhaps, we’ll start with what my mind naturally lands upon when I think of our dear angel, Jess Ainscough.

I think about life.

About living.



honouring jess ainscough

I think about the first time I met her and the last time I hugged her.

I think about the New Years Eve we spent dancing our sober, kombucha-fuelled legs off on a footpath in South Bank.

I think about her gorgeous and totally dorky bursts of laughter.

I think about the way she led with complete and utter devotion. ‘Busy-ness’ was not a concept that Jess bought into, or accepted. Nothing came before her nourishing routines, or her urge to serve in big ways. While most us often run about sweating overwhelm, comparison, self-sabotage… Jess innocently and at times hilariously confessed that she rarely suffered from those things. She just bloody got on with, in full confidence. At one of our winter mastermind retreats (pictured above — really, just an excuse to be together), this quality in her stunned the rest of us into awe. There were few of us who would barely leave the bed of a morning before reaching to check emails on our phones, but Jess? First came meditation, and juicing, and journalling… She was committed to living.

I think about her joy. The type of joy that in contagious, and cheeky, and silly.

I think about her bad-ass-ery. Her divine, fan-freaking-tastic way of being so outspokenly her. 

I think about how wonderful it must feel for her right now – to fully be experiencing her complete vastness now that she is in the light. But then the human part of me aches in all my depths and widths and corners for her fiance, and for her father (two spectacular, angelic men).


I have never felt closer to my soul sisters than right now in this very moment, and that includes Jess. Last week as we all gathered in her home, there were large fragments of time that were spent in silence. Occasionally, someone would wipe away a tear, or blow their nose, or reach out to hold someone, or laugh at a ‘Jess memory.’ None of us were afraid to meet one another in our pain, and it felt freeing to fully express and fully love so safely, knowing that we will never, ever take one another for granted. Even for a moment.

There is so much to feel right now. So much to hold space for. And as this is so raw and recent, so very much to process. Grieving is an acutely personal process, and no one can give you advice on how to navigate it, however, if you’re feeling lost and confused, and you’re looking for a way to show reverence to Jess but you’re not entirely sure how, maybe these ideas will help you:

  • You can make a donation to Edgar’s Mission – a non-for -profit organisation which has always held a space place in Jess’ heart. Please donate in lieu of gifts and flowers.
  • What did Jess embody that you admired? Her courage, her resilience, her creativity, her generosity? Pin-point what you admired in her and try it on for size yourself. Let her legacy live through you.
  • Dedicate your spiritual practice to her. I’ve been doing this since last Thursday and it gives me purpose to rise in the morning in reverence of her.
  • Light two candles – one for Jess, and one for her mother Sharyn, who passed of breast cancer 18 months ago.
  • Learn the lyrics to Salt-n-Peppa’s Shoop and jam on out in your 90’s best 🙂
  • Chant Akaal for 40 days:

In Kundalini yoga, we chant Akaal – which means undying spirit – to help souls transition into the light. It is a powerful and deeply, deeply moving chant that brings comfort and sacredness, and an in my experience, an inner, unspeakable understanding of what life and death may be about. (Have your tissues ready, press play, and then close your eyes)

Just quickly, there’s something grossly inaccurate about any statement that mentions Jess’ ‘7-year battle with cancer.’ Anyone who knows her will tell you that that’s simply not true. She thrived with her disease for six miraculous years. She was the complete embodiment of buoyancy and effervescence, and she positively impacted more people in this world than most of us dare only dream about.

Please, when you hold Jess in your heart and in your thoughts, avoid the trap of believing she was at war with her life; at battle. She wasn’t. Those first six years of her diagnosis were brimming with life and nothing but hope. Let’s hold onto that.


Finally, please know that it’s likely you’d never be reading this blog or following my work were it not for Jess. I mean that. Just like many of you, I was a girl, sitting in front of my computer screen, completely enamoured by her presence. I admired her. She was a hero to me. By simply being her, she completely transformed me and the way I lived my life. To have been given the chance to love her, laugh with her, be with her and share the stage with her is something that brings me to my knees in gratitude and pain and disbelief. I could not possibly feel more privileged or more graced if I tried.


There is no need to comment below. The love that has already been pouring into her community has been overwhelmingly beautiful and touching beyond absolute belief. Thank you for all your tender words and loving thoughts. Sharing this post using the buttons below may help slice through a little of the crap that’s being published about her. I’d appreciate that.

Be kind. Be brave. Be well.

Rise in peace, sister.


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19 Responses to Honouring Jess Ainscough (and How You Can, Too)

  1. Emily Ehlers // Holistic Lifestyle Coach March 2, 2015 at 6:17 pm #

    In tears from the sadness AND the gratitude.

    I have been grieving Jess and a friend of mine said that it almost seemed in appropriate for so many (me included) to be so publicly grieving when the loss is greater for her family. I disagree. It must be THE most heartwarming thing to watch in awe at how many people loved her. And I mean reeeeally LOVED her.

    The magic of her is evidenced by the amount if posts that start with “I didn’t know her personally but I felt like I did”.

    She changed my life in such a huge way and I am so grateful for her and have already found myself decisions to honour her.

    What an amazing girl. Sending you all SO SO SO much love right now. Love you all xxx

  2. Emily Ehlers March 2, 2015 at 7:43 pm #

    Sorry – didn’t see the request not to comment and now can’t delete.

    Shared of course.

  3. Buffy March 2, 2015 at 7:50 pm #

    Shared. Xxx

  4. Dell March 2, 2015 at 7:59 pm #

    I loved reading this. Your words are beautiful. Like you said, I didn’t know Jess. However when up in the Sunshine Coast one year I stalked her & Tallon into a cafe. I wanted to tell her how much she meant to me but I was so in awe of her nothing profound would come out of my mouth, as much as I wanted it to. I regretted it so much but she seemed to be genuinely thankful that I interrupted her lunch & got a photo with her anyway. She has changed my life. I swear I didn’t know Donuts weren’t a food group before coming across her blog! My family now eat organic healthy lives & we are thriving! She was taken decades too soon but the years she has added to the lives of others is unmeasurable & undoubtedly thousands. Thank you for giving her so much love I just hope she knew how far it spread. Big love to you. Xxx

  5. Georgia March 2, 2015 at 9:14 pm #

    Tara. You are one of the most beautiful souls I’ve come across and this was just beautiful to read (especially after some of the “utter crap” I’ve seen). Thank you, for your heartfelt words of love and pain – of losing Jess – as well as your gratitude. Very touching, real, raw, authentic and all the while, it feels so blessed and blissful.
    May you revel (in this lifetime) in your sweet, funny and loving memories of Jess, knowing that you will one day dance it out again (amongst the clouds, stars and morning rays of light) as shiny-as soul sister angels.
    Bless you, sweet Tara Bliss. Much love and light. xx

  6. Phoebe Hook | Soulful Warrior March 3, 2015 at 2:05 am #

    Even in the hardest of times you have the most clear and gentle writing.

    I have just finished my own blog post in dedication to Jess that’s going to my list in the morning, but you summed it all up in 5 words.

    “She was committed to living.”

    My thoughts have been with you all since Friday and I am going to honour her by committing to living.

    So much love to you Tara.

  7. Cynthia March 3, 2015 at 8:04 am #

    I’m sharing this with my social media tribe today. I’ve seen media articles and opinions about Jess that distorted the truth and the gentle way she choose to thrive – and it infuriates me. So much so that I became clouded when it came to feeling out my own feelings for Jess and her legacy. This post = clarity, and a gorgeous way to honour a beautiful girl. My love to you Tara.xx

  8. Marlene Donaldson March 3, 2015 at 1:37 pm #

    The words you have written here today are so beautiful and come from your heart which Jess most of admired from you most. Jess is related to me but not closely related we played with each other when we were children at my Aunty’s place in Budrim even back then she was out going full of life which I know she will be in Heaven enjoying time with her mum again. Very beautiful words Tara x

  9. Kizzi March 3, 2015 at 2:13 pm #

    thank you for sharing, I didn’t like the article they published on daily mail. thank you for giving us that truly care an insight to how life really was for Jess.

    Rest In Peace Jess

  10. Carlie March 3, 2015 at 9:38 pm #

    R.I.P Jett.. u were always so beautiful and so down to earth.. ure smile and your beautiful spirit will be missed xx im glad i had the pleasure of meeting you in my lifetime, you always lit up the room when we were at school and I loved being around you and your beautiful energy..

  11. Amanda Rootsey March 3, 2015 at 9:45 pm #

    Thank you beautiful girl. I feel so blessed to know you gorgeous one. You inspired me to make a little change to my own little post – I used the word ‘fight’ at one point – thank you for reminding me that she was not at war. Love you and sending you extra birthday love!! Mandy xxx

  12. Katrina March 3, 2015 at 9:58 pm #

    Shared xoxo

  13. Jo Hilder March 4, 2015 at 8:00 am #

    Thank you. x

  14. Debbie March 4, 2015 at 8:37 am #

    Thank You xxx

  15. Kylie March 4, 2015 at 8:24 pm #

    Shared xxx

  16. Kimberly/TheLittlePlantation March 5, 2015 at 6:36 am #

    This is a beautifully written tribute to Jess and to life.
    Thank you so much for sharing this.
    It’s been such a shock that she’s gone, but I’m grateful she’s still very much alive within you and those that knew her personally.

  17. Larry Chapman March 5, 2015 at 10:58 am #

    Rest in peace Jess! Gone too soon! My deepest condolences to her family and to you Tara! So sorry!

  18. Nicola Newman March 11, 2015 at 1:23 am #

    What an angel she was and how blessed we were to be in her circle. Thank you Tara, for sharing. She was such an inspiration for us all and I so fondly remember that New Years dancing on the pavement. Love to you Hon and a massive hug. xxx

  19. Larry Teckmeyer October 26, 2015 at 1:06 am #

    Coffee enema video on youtube! That’s how I found her! Then I watched more of her videos and was enthralled with her and each video she made, kept looking for new ones!
    Then after nothing for a while I found the obit that she had died! Sad Sad Sad horrible news!
    She was 29, not 30 as all the articles say. Born July 1985 died Feb 2015 is 29 years!
    29 is a prime number ( I study and memorize prime numbers ) prime numbers are the clay all other numbers are formed from. They are solid and the only real numbers there are.
    Everyone dies BUT not everyone lives! She lived!

    Larry Teckmeyer
    USA, Idaho

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